(A title card appears on the screen, reading:
© TFS ENTERTAINMENT LLC MXXII)
(We slowly pan over the HFIL cul-de-sac, which now has a Rankin/Bass art style. Goz and Mez are holding their hands out to catch the "snowflakes", Guldo and Recoome are making snow angels in the "snow", and Jeice and Burter are watching them.)
KING COLD: (narrating) 'Twas the day of Lord Freeza,
And all throughout Hell,
Most of the MCMs,
Found it quite swell.
But as they celebrated,
And sang cheerful songs,
(The camera pans over Cell's house as he is watching the festivities in confusion.)
KING COLD: One little humbug thought...
PERFECT CELL: What the here's going on?
RADITZ: Oh yeah... I guess they don't celebrate this on Ee-arth. Must be nice.
CELL: Celebrate what?
RADITZ: Just box up your stuff. Trust me.
CELL: That explains nothing. (shouting) Super Kami Guru, do you know what he's talking about?
GURU: I can't get out! My ass is FROZEN TO THE FLOOOR!
CELL: What is going on?!
(The camera then shifts to Guldo building the base of a snowman)
CELL: You there, boy! The f**k is today?
GULDO: Today? Wha- it's Freeza Day!
CELL: (incredulous) ...No.
GULDO: (gasps) You don't know about Freeza Day?!
CELL: (suddenly realizes) Nooo...!
GULDO: HEY EVERYONE! CELL DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT FREEZA DAY!
RECOOME: Well, then. Why don't we tell him all about it?
CELL: Nnnooooo--
(Cell pops out of the screen and then reappears with Guldo to his right.)
CELL: --ooo, F**K!
(A cheery musical track starts playing, with the lyrics of the songs appearing on the screen. Guldo rolls the base of the snowman over.)
GULDO: ♪Today is the day that we sing the praise of♪♪Our overlord who shoots death lasers♪
(Jeice places another piece of the snowman on top of the base.)
JEICE: ♪With an iron finger that he♪♪Rules over the galaxy with♪
(Burter begins singing just as Jeice finishes his verse, quickly moving around and putting the final piece of the snowman on top of the two other pieces.)
BURTER: ♪Today is the day though I'm the fastest♪♪I try to slow down and make this last 'cuz♪
(Recoome is putting together the snowman's face, with two conical objects serving as its horns and small dots serving as the eyes and smile.)
RECOOME: ♪Without Lord Freeza we wouldn't be♪♪The Ginyu Force that you see here!♪
(The Ginyus then strike their poses next to the snowman. Jeice puts a green Scouter on the left side of the snowman's head.)
JEICE: Here you go, snow Cap'n!
CELL: But how is it snowing?
GOZ: Technically, it's not.
MEZ: Zis is just ze yearly dumping of residue from ze Soul Scrubber!
(Guldo tilts his head up and, supposedly, sticks out his tongue to try and catch one of the "snowflakes". As one lands in his mouth, it sizzles away into smoke and lets out a high-pitched scream.)
GULDO: Ehehe! It tingles!
GOZ: Ze runoff from ze damned souls does make ze place quite chilly, though!
(The camera then shows an up-close view of the snowman, as it comes to life and turns its head with a crackling noise. Its eyes glow green as it speaks.)
"SNOW CAP'N": (strained) Ennnd meee...
(We then cut to Zarbon and Dodoria skating on what appears to be a frozen Blood Fountain.)
ZARBON: ♪There's nothing quite like celebrating♪♪A man who is so captivating♪
DODORIA: ♪A man who is completely ruthless♪♪And names his minions after fruit, it's♪
EVERYONE (sans CELL): ♪A beautiful day right here in HFIL♪♪Without him we'd all be worthless!♪
(The camera pans to the door of Freeza's house, who opens the door and begins singing.)
FREEZA: ♪Yes, today is the day that is all about me!♪♪My every whim must be obeyed, let's blow them all away!♪
EVERYONE (sans CELL again): ♪This Freeza...♪♪DAAAAAAAY!♪
(The music is cut, and the camera is focused on Cell, who is staring in disbelief. Raditz walks up to him with a box in his hands.)
RADITZ: And there you go.
CELL: You know, you could've just told me that.
RADITZ: Yeah, but the Ginyus worked really hard on putting that whole number together, so...
CELL: How did this holiday even start?
RADITZ: Well, everyone here had their home planets blown up by Freeza, so once a year, these guys take the day to... celebrate... that.
CELL: M'kaaay, but like, what about you?
RADITZ: When I was alive, it was mandatory under the threat of death. But now... well...
CELL: ...So why this and not... y'know... Christmas?
(The camera pans to Goz and Mez expressing their discontent.)
MEZ: Ze J-man is a bit of a touchy subject around here.
GOZ: With us being demons and all.
CELL: Ahhh, yeah, okay, that tracks.
BURTER: So! Do you know what gift you're gonna get Lord Freeza?
FREEZA: (off-screen) No, no, no!
(The camera cuts to a sign hung above Freeza's door that reads "FRIEZA DAY!!!".)
FREEZA: How many times must I tell you? There is no "I" in "Freeza"!
RECOOME: Recoome apologizes, Lord Freza!
FREEZA: That's not what I--! Duuugh...
CELL: Oh yeah, I got two turtle doves for him right here.
JEICE: Ehhh, you're gonna wanna have a gift, mate.
CELL: (surprised) Actually why?
JEICE: 'Cuz every year on Freeza Day, each planet he ruled over would give him a present. Not unrelated, he'd then select a single planet to blow up.
CELL: I'm going to assume planets with the best gifts tended to not blow up.
JEICE: Yep.
BURTER: Here, we substitute planets... with houses.
(Cell becomes wide-eyed after hearing that the worst gifts would lead to their house getting blown up.)
CELL: ...Oh.
JEICE: Every Freeza Day.
CELL: He blows up our place, doesn't he?
RADITZ: Three years running.
CELL: (off-screen, to Goz and Mez) Why are you encouraging this?!
GOZ: Because most of our MCMs celebrate it!
MEZ: Yeah, nobody vants a var on Freeza Day!
CELL: So participation is mandatory!?
MEZ: Oh, nein, nein! Of course not!
GOZ: Just highly encouraged!
CELL: If I don't want my house blown up!
GOZ AND MEZ: Ja!
(The camera then slowly zooms in on Cell, as a devious smile forms on his face, with a rendition of the Perfect Cell theme briefly playing in the background.)
KING COLD: That's when he got an idea. An awful idea. Cell had a wonderful, awful idea.
(We then briefly cut to the garage of Cell's house.)
CELL: GURU!
GURU: Blaaargh!
(The scene cuts to Freeza opening the final present he received, with Zarbon and Dodoria on his left and right respectively.)
FREEZA: And this...! ...Is a Spacey's gift card.
BURTER: (undertone) Nobody tell him it was a re-gift!
FREEZA: Well everyone, you have all truly done the bare minimum this year. You undoubtedly know how to be barely tolerated! Now then... bring forth the Death Bomb.
ZARBON: (handing Freeza a pink bomb) My Lord!
FREEZA: Thank you, Zarbon. Now, everyone! After three years of the same choice, I decided this year, I'd change it up a little!
RADITZ: (surprised) Hold on, does that mean you're not blowing up our house?
FREEZA: Ohoho, no! I absolutely am! But this year... the Ginyus won't be rebuilding it.
GOZ: Ahhh, hold on un second, that's not--
FREEZA: (interrupting Goz) Ah ah ah! It's my day! And this is my gift to meee~!
CELL: (off-screen) WAIT!
(The camera shifts to Cell holding a box in his hand with a smile on his face.)
CELL: You still have one more gift!
FREEZA: Oh, my! I must admit, Cell, desperation does suit you! But I highly doubt whatever's in here could make up for three years of...
(As the scene tilts down, a "set" of Dragon Balls is sitting at the bottom of the box.)
FREEZA: Wait... are these--?!
CELL: Dragon Balls. I had Guru cough up a whole set just for you.
FREEZA: These are... the best gift I've ever gotten!
CELL: Happy You Day, don't blow up my shit.
FREEZA: Ahem... after much reconsideration, I have made my decision. I choose... the ogres' house.
GOZ: Umm...
MEZ: I don't think zat was one of ze options.
KING COLD: (narrating) It was.
GOZ: Scheiße...
(A cut happens, with the scene now in front of Goz and Mez's house, with a sizzling sound coming from the bomb's fuse, which eventually explodes, completely destroying the house.)
FREEZA: (laughing) Finally! A way out of this forsaken here-hole! Thanks for the Freeza Day of a literal lifetime! I'll make sure I send Vegeta your way! I'll even put a bow on him for you! (laughing again)
CELL: (chuckling) Oh, I'm sorry, those don't actually grant wishes!
FREEZA: (stops laughing) What?!
CELL: Guru's not the Grand Elder anymore... but his kidney stones make for some pretty fancy paperweights!
(Freeza angrily throws the Dragon Ball at Cell's face, knocking the one Cell was spinning on his finger away.)
CELL: Gross.
(Goz and Mez are standing in front of the now destroyed house, lamenting at their lack of a home.)
GOZ: I left my phone in zere!
(The camera pans to Cell and Raditz as Goz and Mez continue crying off-screen.)
CELL: Welp, at least it's not my house!
RADITZ: Huh. Maybe that's the true meaning of Freeza Day.
JEICE: Now you get it, mate.
CELL: No, shut up.
GULDO: Beerus, bless us! Everyone!
(The camera pans out, zooming out away from the cast.)
EVERYONE (sans CELL, FREEZA, and RADITZ): ♪Today is the day he blows up a home and♪♪DAAAAAAAY!♪
(The text "THE END" fades in on-screen. We then cut to the real HFIL, where King Cold closes the book titled "THE MEANING OF FREEZA DAY".)
KING COLD: The End.
CELL: ...Did you... I'm sorry, was that all fanfiction about our deaths?
KING COLD: (breaking the fourth wall) I mean... isn't all of this?
FREEZA: Daddy? Are you having a stroke?
KING COLD: Happy Barfleblam!
(King Cold then collapses on the ground, with Freeza standing up.)
FREEZA: (concerned) Oh my God!
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