"Battlefield Ee-arth" is the second episode of Season 3 of Team Four Star's Dragon Ball Z Abridged and is the thirty-second episode overall. It was first uploaded on YouTube on January 28, 2013.
Summary[]
Yamcha is at Bulma's collecting all of his things, some of which got thrown out. She even reveals that they left Yamcha's body to rot, rather than give him a proper burial. Oolong asks Bulma about her new single life, and she mentions having a dream with Vegeta, which upsets Yamcha; she explains that they were walking in the park, nothing indecent. Bulma then argues that she does not care about him, and she doesn't know where he is. At that time, Vegeta crash lands in the backyard.
Vegeta walks off his ship, and Yamcha immediately makes a stand. However, Vegeta doesn't remember him until he realizes that he was the guy who got killed by a Saibamen a year ago, much to his amusement. Bulma stops the argument and forces Vegeta to take a shower. Bulma puts his suit a washer, leaving the armor next to it. She heads back out the veranda, telling Yamcha and Krillin that she got a good look at Vegeta's backside in the shower. Bulma states that aside from a nice ass, he has a weird hole (which is where his tail used to be). Yamcha, not understanding, thinks Bulma doesn't understand basic biology. Bulma tries to correct him, by explaining it was above "that hole"; Yamcha confusedly asks "he's a chick?"
Vegeta calls from the shower, asking where the cleansing powder is; Bulma tells him that they don't have that on Earth. They have soap, which is made of animal fat; Vegeta finds the idea awesome, biting the bar of soap. Spitting in disgust, Vegeta shouts that it tasted nothing like what Bulma said. Yamcha laughs that Vegeta being around might just be entertaining. Vegeta calls out asking if the "beta male" is there. Bulma yells back that Krillian just got there, much to Vegeta's disgust. He yells that the only thing he hates more than weaklings is pink. Everyone hears him get out of the shower and scream in rage at the clothes Bulma left for him. It turns out Bulma left a pink shirt for Vegeta.
Meanwhile, in space, a familiar ship arrives in Earth orbit. One of the passengers is taken aback on how beautiful Earth looks, while the other one, who is short-circuiting at every other sentence, notes it will look better as a parking lot. Vegeta feels a massive power burst and realizes Goku failed: Freeza is still alive.
Every other Z-Fighter feels it too, including Tenshinhan, Chiaotzu, Piccolo, along with Nail, and Krillin who calls Gohan immediately. They all race to the desert and meet up, with Bulma tagging along as well. Yamcha wants to talk to Vegeta about her, but he seems uninterested due to the situation. Piccolo senses their arrival, but the group is confused about Freeza's weird parking. The Z-Fighters then sense a second power level, whom Vegeta identifies as King Cold, Freeza's father. And since they don't have Goku around with his Super Saiyan powers, they're pretty much screwed, causing Yamcha to have a freak out, which Krillin notes he would freak out only if Yamcha wasn't here. Vegeta, however, believes they can take them since he's a Saiyan himself. Gohan suggests they hide their power levels and sneak up at the two, to which Vegeta call's him a bitch.
Freeza isn't impressed about the wastelands they landed in, but it doesn't matter anyway since he will make sure Goku doesn't see his family or friends alive. He sends his soldiers out to find and kill them in a scavenger hunt style, but when they were about to begin, a lone swordsman cuts some of the soldiers down and asks how many points that was.
Cast[]
- Megami33 - Bulma, Chiaotzu
- Faulerro - Yamcha
- KaiserNeko - Oolong, Trunks
- Lanipator - Vegeta, Krillin, Piccolo
- Hbi2k - King Cold, Nail
- LittleKuriboh - Freeza
- MasakoX - Gohan
- Hnilmik - ChiChi
- Ganxingba - Tenshinhan
Music[]
- Shunsuke Kikuchi - Cha-La Head-Cha-La (Variations)
- Kenji Yamamoto - Bubbles' Dance
- Hironobu Kageyama - Cha-La Head-Cha-La
- Kenji Yamamoto - Presentiment
- Kenji Yamamoto - Tranquil Times
- Kenji Yamamoto - Symphonic Transformation
- Kenji Yamamoto - Frantic Cover
- Anthony DiLorenzo - Damnation
- Megas XLR - Hogan's Thing
- Kenji Yamamoto - A Power That Cannot Be Defied
Trivia[]
- The title is a parody of the L. Ron Hubbard Sci-Fi Novel, Battlefield Earth.
- This is the first episode of 2013.
- This is the first official appearance of Trunks after his cameo in "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Saiyan".
- The jockstrap incident is mentioned again. This is the last time the series will ever mention this incident.
- Beginning with this episode, the Disclaimer has background music playing as the featured character reads.
- Apparently, no one gathered the bodies of the Z-Fighters after their deaths during the Saiyan Saga, or at least Yamcha's body.
- Bulma notices the hole on Vegeta's backside where his tail used to be, but has no clue what it is.
- Vegeta's line to Bulma on the whereabouts of his Saiyan suit is a direct reference to the 2004 Pixar animated film, The Incredibles.
- This episode begins the Android Saga and uses a new intro depicting the story arc.
- Frieza screaming, "EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE!" is a reference to the Daleks from Doctor Who.[1]
- The bonus audio of Yamcha freaking out at the end of this episode was improvised in the booth by Faulerro[2]
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Episode Transcription (English)[]
[Opening disclaimer is read by Bulma]
BULMA: Hey, Yamcha! Thanks for coming by and picking up the rest of your stuff.
YAMCHA: Hey, no problem! I mean... [you] didn't have to, y'know... throw out most of it...
BULMA: Eh, you were dead and it was taking up space.
OOLONG: Much like your corpse.
YAMCHA: Ha ha! Ah... where did you bury me anyway?
BULMA: Bury?
[Flies buzzing as a cutaway of Yamchaâs corpse appears on screen]
OOLONG: So, Bulma, how's the single life treating you?
BULMA: It's been nice actually, had a dream about Vegeta last night--
YAMCHA: You slut!
BULMA: We were walking in a park!
YAMCHA: You slut!
BULMA: OK, first off, we're not even dating! Second of all, I don't even like him. Third, he's probably running out of fuel soon, so God knows if he'll ever make it back here.
{BOOM}
VEGETA [off-screen]: I'M BACK, BITCHES!
PANCHY: Sweetie, roll out the cot! I think we have a visitor!
DR. BRIEF [o-s]: Is he colored?!
PANCHY: I'm not sure, I never open my eyes!
YAMCHA: Hey, you've got a lot of nerve coming back here!
VEGETA: Oh, a valet. Neat. I'm not tipping.
YAMCHA: Don't you remember who I am?! We fought when you landed on Earth!
VEGETA: No, I fought Kakarot. *Nappa* fought everyone else. Well, except for that one scrub who got killed by a Saibaâ [he trails off] Hahaha! Ahahahahaha! AHAHAHAHAhahaha!
YAMCHA: Oh, yeah?! I dare you to come over here and laugh at me!
[Vegeta does exactly that] VEGETA: Ha... ha... ha.
YAMCHA: Yeah, see, now we can laugh together?
BULMA: OK, seriously, we have enough to clean up without a pool of Yamcha's urine. You, come with me.
VEGETA: What? Why?
BULMA: Because you need a shower! I could smell you from East City.
VEGETA: (Grumbling)... Pacific Ci-- smell you from East City... (grumbling)
YAMCHA: 'Yeah, you better run...'
[Shift to the next scene in the bathroom] BULMA: Hey, I'm setting out some new clothes for you, and I'm gonna wash your armor!
VEGETA: Fine, but be careful! Those are dry clean only!
BULMA: Whatever.
VEGETA [o-s]: No, seriously, they lose their elasticity! {Door shuts} ...Hello?
KRILLIN: So... Vegeta's living here now? That's neat.
YAMCHA: The man single-handedly responsible for murdering most of the entire gang is taking a shower in the other room.
"Neat" is not the first word that comes to mind.
BULMA: OK, so I just got a look at Vegeta's ass, and besides being surprisingly nice, he's got this weird hole.
YAMCHA: Uh, yeah, even boys have those, Bulma.
BULMA: No, you idiot! I mean a hole *above* that one!
YAMCHA: ...You mean he's a chick??
VEGETA [o-s]: Earth-woman! Where's the cleansing powder?
BULMA: We don't have that here, we have soap!
VEGETA [o-s]: The hell is "soap"?
BULMA: It's that yellow block there made of animal fat!
VEGETA [o-s]: That sounds *awesome*! {CHOMP} Blah! This tastes nothing like what you just said!
YAMCHA: OK, I change my mind, this *is* pretty neat.
VEGETA [o-s]: Is that the beta male?!
BULMA: No! Krillin just got here!
VEGETA [o-s]: Oh *God*, they're *breeding*! I swear, the only thing I hate more than weaklings, is the color pink! (Sounds of Vegeta getting out of the shower) AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!
[Scene changes to King Coldâs ship] KING COLD: There it is⊠The home of the brute who dared lay hands on my darling little angel.
FREEZA (cyborg voice): Yes, Daddy.
KING COLD: What a pretty little blue pearl it is. What was it called? "Ee-arth"?
FREEZA: Actually, it's pronounced "Earth", Daddy-Daddy-Daddy-Daddy. {BZZZT}
KING COLD: Really? But there's an "A" in it. I'm just going to keep calling it Ee-arth.
FREEZA: It doesn't really matter anyway. Soon, it'll have a brand new name... *Vacant Lot*!
[Scene change back to the main group] VEGETA: Son of a BITCH!
YAMCHA: What, still ticked off about the shirt?
VEGETA: No, I'm-- well, yes actually, I'm absolutely livid. But that's not the point!
That idiot Kakarot *failed*! Freeza's *still alive*!
TIEN: Chiaotzu... do you feel that? There are two enormous power levels approaching the planet.
CHIAOTZU: Yeah, see, last time this happened... I blew myself up.
TIEN: Yeah, I was gonna ask you to hold off on that this time.
PICCOLO [o-s]: RAAAAAAAAAaargh! [Scene shifts to Piccolo in a snowy, mountaineous area]
NAIL: 'See, now we just have to carve out an area and then we'll start building the hi-- eyyy, do you feel that?'
PICCOLO: Freeza?! NOOOOOOOOOooooo!!
NAIL: 'OK, I'm right here! Please stop yelling!' (Piccolo continues yelling in the background}
[Scene shifts to Gohan on the phone in his home]
KRILLIN [via phone]: Oh God, Gohan! It's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him it's him!
GOHAN: Krillin, calm down! Now are you sure it's him?
KRILLIN: Gohan, once you've had a man inside of you... you know when he's coming.
GOHAN: Mom! Where's my Saiyan suit?!
[Scene shifts to the Brief residence] VEGETA: Woman! Where is my Saiyan suit?!
[Back to Gohan] CHI-CHI [o-s]: It's under your bed!
GOHAN: Thank you!
[Back to Bulma and Vegeta] BULMA [o-s]: It's in the wash!
VEGETA: You bitch!
[Scene shifts to now be at the site of âIdiot Craterâ] VEGETA: Alright, judging by how quickly his power level is closing in, he should be here in about--
YAMCHA: Hey, so I need to talk to you about Bulma!
VEGETA: You cannot be serious!
YAMCHA: Look, we're not dating anymore, but still, she's a really close friend and--
VEGETA: You are actually doing this right now.
BULMA: Hey, guys!
VEGETA: Oh, great! And she's here too! Why don't all you idiots just start showing up?!
KRILLIN: Hey, Vegeta!
VEGETA [o-s]: I was f*cking *kidding*!
YAMCHA: Tenshinhan! Chiaotzu!
TIEN: Huh, looks like we got here in time. Oh hey... Vegeta.
VEGETA: What?
TIEN: Nice shirt.
VEGETA: And there it is! Now all we need is the Namekian and we'll have the whole potpourri of pathetic.
PICCOLO: Uh, been here the whole time, actually.
VEGETA: Oh, what do you want? A medal?
PICCOLO: ...Nice shirt.
VEGETA: Kiss my ass, green man.
PICCOLO: Yeah, it's the kind of shirt that really screams-- HUH...! HE'S COMING!
KRILLIN: He's landing over there!
PICCOLO [o-s]: Wait, now he's pulling back.
KRILLIN: No, now he'sâ Going back that way⊠What's he doing?
FREEZA [via speaker]: Daddy, we can park anywhere we want!
KING COLD [via speaker]: Now, son, if this is anything like that jockstrap incident, we don't want to get boxed in.
KRILLIN: So has anyone else noticed that there are *two* power levels around the same strength on that ship?
VEGETA: Yeah, it's probably his dad.
YAMCHA: He has a father?!
PICCOLO: Makes sense. Everyone has a dad. âŠ'Ceeept me.
VEGETA: Ha! Your dad's dead!
PICCOLO: So's yours!
VEGETA [o-s]: HA!
GOHAN: So, essentially, we have two opponents of equal strength that my father could only beat after fulfilling an ancient alien prophecy. Does anyone in particular know exactly what we're doing here besides trying not to lose it?!
YAMCHA: Guys, we are so screwed! I don't know what we're gonna do! I mean this is completely crazy! Why did I come here again?! We're going to die! I'm gonna die again! I don't wanna die again! Dying once is bad enough! Oh go-ha-hah!
KRILLIN: You know, if he weren't doing it... I would.
VEGETA: We don't need Kakarot or anyone else. You have enough badass Saiyan on your team as it is. Now if you'll excuse me, you all can just sit on your hands while I go up there and take care of business.
GOHAN: Or - maybe we could hide our power levels, sneak closer to them, survey the situation from up close, and, perhaps, catch them by surprise?
VEGETA: Y'all are bitches.
KING COLD: Well, son, is this what you were expecting?
FREEZA: My God, this is droll. We're so far out in the space sti-ti-ti-ticks, there's not even a space Radioshack, much less a space Best Buy-Buy-Buy-Buyâ {BZZZT} Circuit City.
KING COLD: Are you alright?
FREEZA: Yes, Daddy, just processing.
KING COLD: And wouldn't you know it, no place to buy more RAM!
FREEZA: But I won't lie, Daddy. I'm absolutely ecstatic. When that filthy monkey arrives back on the planet, he'll return not to the smiling faces of his dear friends and family⊠but a Total. Unadulterated. *Genocide*! Speaking of which... Soldiers! The scavenger hunt will proceed as such: Normal human heads are worth one point. Namekian heads are worth twenty. Filthy half-Saiyan brats, fifty! And if you find any miserable, odious, insubordinate, full-blooded monkey garbage⊠you win!
FREEZA: Well, off you go!
MOOKS: Yes, sir!
[All of Freezaâs men immediately get sliced to bits by a ~mysterious stranger~ (Future Trunks)]
(???/Future Trunks): So⊠how many points are those?
[â« Closing theme (DBZ intermission) â«]
YAMCHA: Oh my God guys, I don't know what we're gonna do here, I- I mean I can't do anything! This is completely insane! I- ike- I'm talking completely, and totally, out of your mind insane! I mean look at thi- look at those guys! I mean I can't see them but I can know they're there! And that's bad enough! I-I-do-Oh-ger- there it goes, there goes my pants- I can't believe! My pants are-- moist now! I mea- no, no no, I'm a man, I'm a ma- OH GOD I'M NOT A MAN ANYMORE WHAT DOES IT MATTER IF I'M A MAN- A WOMAN- A MONKEY! Ehuh! I'm talking nonsense right now...
This transcription was produced by Splendaaa/1plainicecreamcone --- I took the original English Captions by (Anonymous) and edited them slightly to have more clarity when read without video accompaniment. (If you edit this transcription, please leave this original credits segment so that my hours of effort aren't all for nothing! - thank you, Splendaaa)