"PERFECT" CELL: The following is a fan-based parody. Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, Dragon Ball GT, and Dragon Ball Super are all owned by Funimation, Toei Animation, Shueisha and Akira Toriyama. Please support the official release...
(Last time on DragonBall Z Abridged...)
TRUNKS: (gets a hole blasted through his chest) Gah!
(In the present, Vegeta gasps in shock as Trunks hits the ground)
"PERFECT" CELL: Aw, shit, that was meant for Tien! That's my B! It's just so hard to parse your power levels anymore. You're all so weak!
YAMCHA: Guys! Cell's back!!
"PERFECT" CELL: Thanks, Yamcha. But I see those shocked expressions of yours, brains wracking over how I'm back, and better than ever! And it all lies within my body.
(Cut to a visualization of how Cell's body regenerated) A nucleus ever so small but frighteningly powerful. And lucky me, it survived my little kamikaze. Although Goku did not... But the most important part is: my inherited Saiyan biology-- (Cut briefly back to Cell) thanks dads-- (Cut back to Cell regenerating) gave me a boost in my power. Returning me not only to my Perfect Form, but a form even greater than before! I... am now...!
YAMCHA: Perfect-er Cell!
"PERFECT" CELL: Okay. Yamcha, accurate, but tone it down.
KRILLIN: Hey Gohan, if you knock him in the gut again, you think he'll pop out a second 18? Asking for a friend...
GOHAN: RrrrAAAAAHHH!! (transforms back into a Super Saiyan 2) I'm not even mad you're still alive. I've got some shit to work through...
"PERFECT" CELL: Aww, is the cat in the cradle? Here, let me put you in a grave.
(Vegeta gets over his shock and growls at "Perfect" Cell, but it returns when he hears...)
TRUNKS: (weakly) Help... (Vegeta gasps) Help...! Someone... help... me... Plea-- Bluh-hagh! (coughs up blood and takes his dying breath as Vegeta watches in horror)
YAMCHA: Trunks! (runs up to Trunks' body) Don't worry, buddy. I've been where you are. We're gonna get you a Senzu Bean and--he's dead. He's dead... I've been there too, I guess. (starts to get muted in favor of the sound of Vegeta's ears ringing as the shot pushes in on his shocked face) Although, honestly the afterlife part isn't too bad. The whole dying part of it is... haunting... Everything just kind of slows down and you feel yourself slip the mortal coil... (Vegeta clenches his fist) To this day I... still wonder if I've ever been brought back or if I'm still in the process of dying, you know?
KRILLIN: (also muted) Oh my God, someone finally put it into words!
YAMCHA: (normal) Is it any easier the second time?
KRILLIN: (also normal) Believe it or not, it's worse.
VEGETA: MY BABY BOOOOOOY!!! HRRRRAAAUGH!!! (charges at "Perfect" Cell and turns Super Saiyan)
GOHAN: Vegeta, no!
VEGETA: VEGETA, YEEESSS!!! (fires a blast at "Perfect" Cell, causing the area to be engulfed in smoke)
"PERFECT" CELL: (emerges from the smoke completely unharmed) Vegeta, no. (swats Vegeta to the ground)
Goodbye, Vegeta. And when you get to Hell, tell them to make some room. (fires a blast to finish off Vegeta)
GOHAN: (thinking) No! (rushes over to Vegeta and takes the blast head-on, resulting in a huge explosion)
PICCOLO: (while getting pushed back from the force of the blast) GOHAAAN!!
(the dust clears, revealing Gohan on top of Vegeta)
"PERFECT" CELL: For Vegeta? Really?
TIEN: Yeah, really?
PICCOLO: REALLY?!
(Gohan steadily rises on his feet, with blood dripping down his left arm)
GOHAN: As... long as I'm still breathing... you won't kill anyone else.
"PERFECT" CELL: No prob, I can free up five minutes... or however long it takes to charge this. (takes the Kamehameha stance, Gohan gasps)
PICCOLO: Krillin! Senzu, now!
KRILLIN: Ah, you know how we only had eight beans, right?
PICCOLO: And?
KRILLIN: And how many people are here?
PICCOLO: So we're out--
KRILLIN: WE'RE OUT OF SENZU BEANS!!
"PERFECT" CELL: I want you to know this blast isn't just meant for you, Gohan. It goes out to the entire world! My swan song to this planet. (starts charging up)
GOHAN: Vegeta, you brain-dead idiot! Trunks could have been brought back, no problem! But no, you picked now to be a parent?! Oh, well look at me, I'm no better; could've just let you bite it! Now I'm monoplegic, and Cell's gonna kill us all!
VEGETA: (weakly) I'm... sorry...
GOHAN: Oh wow, we are fucked.
KRILLIN: Well, if this is it, then... (looks at Android 18) I love you...!
YAMCHA: Hey, Tien... Since this is the end--
TIEN: If you're about to say, "I love you", I swear to God...
YAMCHA: Actually, I was gonna say you're the biggest asshole I know.
TIEN: Oh.
YAMCHA: You're also my best friend.
TIEN: So are you, man.
"PERFECT" CELL: Honestly, Gohan, the maraschino cherry on top of all of this--besides rending you from existence--is that because I am not burdened by the evolutionary failure of aging, I will live FOREVER! Free to roam the stars! Gonna have to pick up a hobby though... I'm thinking craft brewing...
GOHAN: So this is how I die. Down an arm and killed by an android. Why does this feel oddly familiar?
PICCOLO: Gohan! Snap out of it! Your father wouldn't sit there and take it, and neither should you!
GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo...
PICCOLO: You want to do right by Goku? Then don't let that bastard scare you!
"PERFECT" CELL: He's right, brat! It's just like you told me, there's no point in being afraid of the inevitable.
GOHAN: Yeah, I guess you're right. (clenches his fist and raises his energy)
"PERFECT" CELL: Hm?
GOHAN: KAAA... MEEE...
PICCOLO: With one arm?
GOHAN: HAAA...
"PERFECT" CELL: Magnificent! One last stand against me! A climactic showdown!
GOHAN: MEEEE...
"PERFECT" CELL: Give me what your daddy couldn't--before I send ya home to him! HAAAAAAA!!! (fires his Kamehameha wave)
GOHAN: HAAAAAAA!!! (also fires his Kamehameha wave, one-handed style, and shows both beams racing toward each other)
KRILLIN: Grab your bodies and move! (jumps out of the way with Yamcha and Tien doing the same while carrying Trunks' corpse)
PICCOLO: Kill him, runt.
(Piccolo flies away with the others. Vegeta recovers and flies away as well. Both Kamehamehas finally collide with each other, resulting in a huge orb in the center. Gohan grunts and "Perfect" Cell cackles as the orb increases in size, with the force being felt from the crowd in a faraway city. The rest of the Z-Fighters land a safe distance from the beam struggle.)
KRILLIN: (high-pitched) It's a real good thing beams don't just explode on impact with each other... (Piccolo stares quietly at the clash)
"PERFECT" CELL: Tell me when that arm starts feeling numb, brat! Then I'll start trying! Worst case scenario: you die and get stronger! It did wonders for ME! (puts more power into his Kamehameha, causing him to gain more ground)
GOHAN: Is it too much to ask that you just shut up and fight!?
"PERFECT" CELL: What's that, brat? I can't hear you! Try sign language!
KRILLIN: If someone with one arm speaks with sign language, is that a speech impediment or an accent?
GOHAN: (grunts out loud as he thinks) Dammit, my legs feel like they're about to give out, I can't feel my arm, and nobody's shutting the hell up!
GOKU: (telepathically) Oh, sorry, I'll come back later. (Gohan gasps)
GOHAN: Dad?!
GOKU: (on Snake Way with King Kai) Hey, son! Sorry it took me so long to call, King Yemma's line was the worst! I literally thought I'd skipped it and went straight to Hell.
KING KAI: You should go to Hell!
GOKU: (telepathically) Also the phone won't stop yelling at me.
GOHAN: (thinking) Dad, I... I don't think I can do this! He's so much stronger, and it's all my fault! (out loud) It was my cowardice, then my hubris, and now my weakness! We're all gonna-- (grunts in exertion)
GOKU: (telepathically as an image of him appears alongside Gohan) Gohan, I want to tell you, that if you don't do this, Piccolo is gonna die. Your mom's gonna die. Everyone is gonna die. But before all that, If you don't do this...you're gonna die. And you're better than that! You're better than him! You're better than me!
(Gohan gasps and puts more power into his Kamehameha, which evens the beam clash back up)
"PERFECT" CELL: Whoa, Nelly!
GOKU: (telepathically) See? I'm not even close to that strong! Yet. You're more than just my son... you are Son Gohan! Now, plant your feet. Grit your teeth. And EAT... THAT... HORSE!
GOHAN: YEEEAAAAAAAAAAGH! (exerts even more power into his Kamehameha, nearly causing it to completely overpower "Perfect" Cell's)
"PERFECT" CELL: So, what's this, brat? Your second wind or your dying gasp?! Either way, it doesn't matter! Behold the power... of TWO HANDS!! (releases more energy into his Kamehameha, now taking the lead and causing Gohan to skid back a few feet)
GOKU: Gohan!
PICCOLO: No!
"PERFECT" CELL: Take solace, Gohan! Though you have fought alone, you will not die alone. That is my last gift to you: A PERFECT DEATH! (gets hit from a Galick Blazer out of nowhere) Eaugh!
(the person who shot the blast was Vegeta, who is gasping for breath)
"PERFECT" CELL: Oh, shit...!
GOKU: DO IT NOW!!
GOHAN: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! (unleashes every ounce of power he has for one more push, which manages to completely overpower "Perfect" Cell's Kamehameha)
"PERFECT" CELL: OH, SHIT!!!
(Gohan starts to slowly walk up towards Cell with his blast to put an end to him once and for all. As he does so, Cell's body starts to disintegrate, and he starts singing "My Way" by Frank Sinatra in his thoughts.)
♪And now, the end is near♪
♪And so I face the final curtain♪ (shows a flashback of his birth and all the past events leading towards his climax)
♪My friend, I'll say it clear♪
♪I'll state my case, of which I'm certain♪
♪I've lived a life that's full♪
♪I've traveled each and every highway♪
♪But more, much more than this♪
♪I did it my way♪
♪Regrets, I've had a few♪
♪But then again, too few to mention♪
♪I did what I had to do♪
♪And saw it through without exemption♪
♪I planned each charted course♪
♪Each careful step along the byway♪
♪And more, much more than this♪
♪I did it my way♪
♪Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew♪
♪When I bit off more than I could chew♪
♪But through it all, when there was doubt♪
♪I ate it up and spit it out♪
♪The record shows I took the blows...♪
♪And did it my way!♪
("Perfect" Cell's body begins to break up as Gohan's Kamehameha completely disintegrates his body, down to the very last cell, and Gohan's blast continues into outer space, where it dissipates. The sun changes to illuminate a different part of Earth, signifying the planet has survived Cell's wrath, and peace has returned once again.)
DRAGONBALL FIGHTERZ ANNOUNCER: DRAMATIC FINISH!! (The "Dramatic Finish" graphic from Dragon Ball FighterZ appears and the results screen music from said game briefly plays)
(Back on Earth, Gohan is now seen in midair gasping heavily for air)
GOHAN: Horse... eaten! (reverts to his base form and starts falling) Somebody catch meeeeeee...
PICCOLO: He's... dead...!
GOHAN: (hits the ground off-screen) Ugh!
PICCOLO: Cell is dead...!!
YAMCHA: Nobody's gonna hold it against me if I start crying, are they?
TIEN: Better now than five minutes ago.
KRILLIN: (walks up to Gohan) So buddy, you beat your first bad guy! How's it feel? (Gohan doesn't give a response) Gohan?
GOHAN: If anybody's there... My autonomic nervous system shut down all non-critical bodily functions. I cannot move, hear, or see. On a related note, I really, really need to use the bathroom.
YAMCHA: Yeah, let's get you to the Lookout, little buddy. (picks up Gohan)
GOHAN: Is that Tien Shinhan? You have very soft hands. (passes out)
(Piccolo smiles and looks up to Vegeta)
YAMCHA: So, is there any food on the Lookout? 'Cause I'm starving.
KRILLIN: (mocking Mr. Popo) Fourth rule of Popo's training--!
YAMCHA: Yeah, yeah. Don't eat his stuff. Hey Piccolo! We're gonna stop for snacks on the way! (he, Tien, and Krillin fly off carrying Gohan, Trunks, and Android 18 respectively)
PICCOLO: You know Vegeta, I'm surprised you're not taking credit for the win.
VEGETA: I'm surprised you're not thanking me for saving your worthless lives.
PICCOLO: Heh. Well, don't worry. We'll go revive your "baby boy". (flies off)
VEGETA: (thinking) F**kin' better...
(The dust finally settles as we shift over to Mr. Satan)
MR. SATAN: (thinking) We're... We're alive! After all that... (out loud) I need to rethink my life.
JIMMY FIRECRACKER: Mr. Satan! (Mr. Satan shrieks) Mr. Satan, we found some working equipment in the van. We've only got audio, but the people can hear you! Would you like to tell the world what just happened?!
MR. SATAN: I don't... Um, I'm not really--
JIMMY FIRECRACKER: Mr. Satan... Would you like to tell the world, including your millions of scared, confused, and apparently rioting fans, what... happened?
MR. SATAN: Well... Jimmy...and all you at home... I won't lie to you. Cell is dead. (strikes a triumphant pose) And I am the one who TOOK! HIM! DOOOWN!!
(crowd starts cheering)
JIMMY FIRECRACKER: Is there a body, Mr. Satan?
MR. SATAN: (panicked) NO...! (normally) D'ah, uh, I mean, of course not! He exploded without a trace, on impact, Jimmy. That's why it's called "Mr. Satan's Megaton Punch"! But if he weren't such a chump, I'd have given him a punch for all my wonderful Satanists out there.
CROWD: Hail Satan! Hail Satan!
RANDOM DUDE 1: What do we do now?
RANDOM DUDE 2: Orgy?
RANDOM DUDE 1: Orgy!
RANDOM DUDE 3: Yeah, f**k this city!
(cut to King Castle)
CAPTAIN MERLINO: Well King Furry, it seems that we were victorious today. (King Furry barks) Yes, sir. I do believe it was the son of that Goku fellow. Unfortunately, the world may never know the truth. (King Furry barks again) We'll go for walkies later, sir. The orgy has begun. (King Furry whines like a puppy)
(cut over to the Z-Fighters arriving at The Lookout)
DENDE: Gohan! (runs up to Yamcha) What'd you idiots do?
YAMCHA: Nothing, we just let him fight Cell.
DENDE: ALONE?!
YAMCHA: Well yeah, that just kinda how we do things...
DENDE: Just give him to me, you mook! (Yamcha places Gohan on the ground; Dende starts healing Gohan) I don't think the healing is working. Need to give him mouth-to-mouth...
GOHAN: (wakes up with feeble mumbling) Dende?
DENDE: Gohan! Can you breathe?
GOHAN: Better than usual, actually.
DENDE: Oh. Oh, okay...
TIEN: Hey, sorry about your dad, kid.
YAMCHA: Yeah, that's rough.
GOHAN: You guys, it's fine! He's dead!
YAMCHA: …There's a lot to unpack there.
PICCOLO: You did a good job out there, kid. (places his hand on Gohan's head) Without you, we'd all be dead.
GOHAN: Yep!
PICCOLO: I... just wanted you to know that.
GOHAN: I know!
PICCOLO: D'okay. …Long as we're clear.
DENDE: Okay, so why did you bring two dead chicks to my Lookout? (Android 18 wakes up)
ANDROID 18: Huh?
KRILLIN: Good morning, sunshine!
ANDROID 18: (quickly gets up on her feet) Where am I? What happened? Where's Cell?
PICCOLO: On the Lookout, Gohan killed Cell, and... Gohan killed Cell.
ANDROID 18: What's the Lookout?
KRILLIN: It's where God lives.
DENDE: What up?
ANDROID 18: Okay. Wow, you're throwing a lot at me here.
KRILLIN: Also, I'm in love with you.
ANDROID 18: Aaand that's my limit. Thank you. Bye. (turns away and flies off)
KRILLIN: NO-WHAT-NO! Man, I'm bad at this...
ANDROID 18: We both are!
TIEN: Suddenly, I'm elated that Trunks is dead.
YAMCHA: Dude!
TIEN: What, so he didn't have to see that.
YAMCHA: Still, dude...
(all seven DragonBalls are seen flashing together)
DENDE: Okay, Shenron, wakey wakey, eggs and dead people... (Shenron, the Eternal Dragon, is summoned)
SHENRON: I am the Eternal Dragon. State your wishes and I shall grant them.
GOHAN: He seems... less moody than usual.
DENDE: 'Sup Shenron.
SHENRON: 'Sup, Big Green?
YAMCHA: Eternal Dragon, our first wish is to bring back everyone on Earth killed by Cell.
SHENRON: A simple matter. (eyes glow red)
TRUNKS: (opens his eyes) I get it, it's a beautiful desk. Can I just go to Heave-- Where am I?
GOHAN: You're on the Lookout!
TRUNKS: Oh, good. Got my clothes back.
DENDE: Alright, since you resurrected more than one person, you only have one wish left. Make it count.
TIEN: Something doesn't seem right.
YAMCHA: Yeah, shouldn't Goku be back now?
DENDE: You wanna tell them or should I?
MR. POPO: Oh, please, I insist.
DENDE: I was going to save this for after Krillin died. But since you apparently did the impossible, you still can't bring back someone who's already died before.
GOHAN: What?!
KRILLIN: Whooo! Bullet dodged!
PICCOLO: Don't freak out, Porunga can still bring back people who have died.
YAMCHA: Good thinking, Piccolo, we'll just use the remaining wish to go to Namek!
GOKU: (telepathically) You want to tell 'em or should I?
KING KAI: (telepathically) DON'T TALK TO ME!
GOHAN: Dad?!
KRILLIN: Goku?!
GOKU: (telepathically) Hey guys. I'm in Heaven. With King Kai!
KING KAI: (telepathically) Yeah, thanks for specifying "on Earth", by the way! Yamcha, you ASSHOLE!
KRILLIN: Okay, Goku. We're gonna go to Namek so we can wish you back, so just sit tight buddy!
GOKU: (telepathically) Yeah... 'Bout that...
GOHAN: (thinking) Oh, here it comes...
GOKU: I gave it some thought, and well... Raditz and Vegeta came to Earth because of me, right? And then Freezer came to Earth because of me. And the Androids were made because of me. (telepathically) Just feels like every time the Earth's in danger, I'm the common dominator. And frankly, I'm tired of dominating. It's your turn to dominate, Gohan.
GOHAN: Everything you just said was technically correct.
GOKU: (telepathically) I'm just thinking maybe... it would be better if I stay dead.
KRILLIN: But, you've been a part of our lives for so long... It can't just... end like this, right?
GOKU: I know it's hard guys, but I think it's for the best and this doesn't have to be goodbye forever. (telepathically) Maybe one day when the time is right. I'll come back to see you again, but it is goodbye. For now at least. Gohan, I know I--
GOHAN: Dad, don't. It's okay. Because you were right about one thing. I can take care of us. Just... promise you'll call every once in a while.
GOKU: 'Course!
KING KAI: (telepathically) I am not your cell phone!
GOKU: (telepathically) Whups, I gotta go here, getting some interference. Take care Gohan! And say 'hi' to your little brother for me.
GOHAN: Wait, Mom's pregnant?
GOKU: (telepathically) Bye, sons! Now, where's the off button...?
KING KAI: (telepathically) Get your hands off me--
GOKU: (telepathically) Boop!
KING KAI: (telepathically) Augh! My eye! (hang-up tone)
GOHAN: See you later, Dad.
YAMCHA: Sooo, if, uh, you guys don't have any wishes. I've never really gotten the chance to-
KRILLIN: Could you turn 17 and 18 back into normal humans?
TRUNKS: Wha?
YAMCHA: No, it's cool. Next time though?
PICCOLO: Oh, I get it. Turn them back into humans and make them weaker.
KRILLIN: What? No! Dr. Gero stole their lives away from them. I just think they deserve a better life.
SHENRON: That wish is beyond my power.
KRILLIN: Bullshit!
SHENRON: (visibly sweating) Look, I don't make the rules.
KRILLIN: Then who does?!
MR. POPO: Hi~
KRILLIN: (suddenly completely calm) Because they are incredibly fair and balanced.
YAMCHA: Honestly, man, I don't see the downside to being an Android. You know, except walking around with a nuke in your chest.
KRILLIN: Wait, Shenron! Can you take the bombs out of them?
SHENRON: I can...
KRILLIN: That, please!
SHENRON: (does so) Your wishes have been granted. Farewell! Bigger Green, out! (disappears and all seven Dragon Balls fly up in the sky and scatter)
TRUNKS: For the record, I agree with the results of your wish, but not the motive.
KRILLIN: I just want to do the right thing, okay?
GOHAN: I think it's sweet. You're a good guy, Krillin.
KRILLIN: Thanks. Too bad Android 18 will never know. I wish I had one more chance to talk to her.
(Android 18 comes back out of hiding and confronts Krillin, in a sense fulfilling a third wish for him, even though Shenron only granted two.)
ANDROID 18: Okay, what the hell was that?!
KRILLIN: (sotto voce) Thank you, Shenron...!
ANDROID 18: You could have wished for a billion Zeni. Or a nose! But instead you used a magical WISH-GRANTING DRAGON... for us.
TIEN: Asking the real questions here.
KRILLIN: It just... made sense.
ANDROID 18: Okay, look. I've got to go find my brother. I can only imagine what's going through his head right now...
(cut to Android 17 waking up in the location of where he was absorbed by Imperfect Cell)
ANDROID 17: I never did get that boat...
(cut back to The Lookout)
ANDROID 18: I actually bet it's inane. But... let's talk later. (runs off the Lookout)
KRILLIN: Wait, wait! W-what's your number?!
ANDROID 18: 18!
KRILLIN: Heh. Guess I flew into that one.
PICCOLO: (thinking) I'm not sure what just happened...
NAIL & KAMI: (in a singsong tone) (Krillin's got a girlfriend~)
PICCOLO: Gross.
TIEN: Well, I better get home. I told Chiaotzu if I wasn't dead by the end of the day, that we'd eat out.
YAMCHA: Hah, gay.
TIEN: I'll miss you too, Yamcha.
GOHAN: Thank you for all of your help. Mr. Tenshinhan.
TIEN: You're the one who picked up our slack, kid. Now keep that bright head in the clouds, and strong feet on the ground. And Trunks...
TRUNKS: Huh?
TIEN: Go wreck their shit.
TRUNKS: That's the idea.
TIEN: Until we meet again! Which will probably be when the world's in danger, so just... keep a close eye on Vegeta. (flies off)
TRUNKS: Can any of you get a read on that guy?
GOHAN: Not even close.
KRILLIN: We should probably follow his lead. Namek has shorter days than this has been.
GOHAN: Are you going to stay here on the Lookout, Mr. Piccolo?
PICCOLO: I mean, that's up to Dende.
DENDE: Are you gonna visit us, Gohan?
GOHAN: All the time!
DENDE: Then yes, we have a room for you, Nail.
PICCOLO: I've never had a room before!
DENDE: That's depressing, and hilarious.
MR. POPO: I call it "deprarious!"
TRUNKS: If you guys wouldn't mind, I'd like if you could come by Capsule Corp. tomorrow before I leave. Before I'd met you guys, all I had was stories and now that I've fought alongside you all I'm... I'm gonna miss you.
KRILLIN: Oh shucks, buddy. We're gonn--
TRUNKS: Specifically you, Gohan.
KRILLIN: Was that necessary?
GOHAN: We'll be there with bells on. And I'll see you later, Dende!
DENDE: Visit soon, Gohan! We'll have a slumber party, we could play spin the bottle! Hehe, 1v1 me, bro.
GOHAN: All right, then guys! Ready?! Let's go home! (he, Krillin, Trunks, and Yamcha fly off the Lookout)
YAJIROBE: Heyyyyyy! (he and Korin wave to the group as they fly off)
GOHAN: Good job, everybody! See you at Capsule Corp.! (he and Krillin part ways with Trunks and Yamcha)
TRUNKS: No, sorry. There's only room in the time machine for one person.
YAMCHA: Can't you like, put me in a capsule?
TRUNKS: Why would you want to go back to my post-apocalyptic future? ...Is it because my mom is single?
YAMCHA: Oh, hey, my apartment's this way, later Trunks! (he and Trunks part ways)
(cut to Chi-Chi sobbing at home, having been told the news about Goku's death from Gohan)
CHI-CHI: Your father would rather be dead than live with his wife and children!
GOHAN: Mom, no! Dad might be... Well, is one of the dumbest, most selfish, most irresponsible people we know... (Chi-Chi wails harder) But... before he died... he mentioned us. All of us.
OX-KING: Even me?
GOHAN: Granddad? Seriously, could you not, right now?
CHI-CHI: (stops crying) My... my Goku...
KING KAI: (offscreen) You're sure about this, Goku?
(cut to Goku and King Kai on Snake Way)
GOKU: 'Bout as sure as I can be.
KING KAI: Most men would die all over again just to get back what you've had. A loving wife, two sons, unearthly powers.
GOKU: Yeah, but those aren't going anywhere. And if they do, they'll probably just be back to me. It's a win-win!
KING KAI: You're a strange creature, Goku.
(cut over to Capsule Corp. with everyone seeing Trunks head off)
GOKU: I'm just not afraid of change, I guess. I've never been. When it comes down to it, I know they're gonna be alright. Because if I've learned anything since landing on Earth...
KING KAI: Big "if" there...
GOKU: …it's that everyone is stronger than they think they are. (Vegeta flips off Trunks, who responds by flipping him off back. Vegeta responds with a smile.) I left behind the best people in the world and I'm happy about that. Things changed, and they're gonna keep changing.
TRUNKS: (heard in the background under Goku's speech) Goodbye, everyone! I'll never forget you!
GOKU: There ain't no stopping that.
BULMA: (in the background) See you in 17 years, sweetie!
GOKU: The most important part? Now they can live their own lives and make their own futures.
YAMCHA: (in the background) Bye, Trunks!
KRILLIN: (in the background) Later, dude!
GOKU: And I can't wait to see the kind of future they make.
(Gohan feels a tap on his shoulder and looks around confused, eventually stopping with a smile to look at an image of Goku in the sky behind him. Krillin also looks around a bit confused.)
KRILLIN: ...What?
[CREDITS PLAY]
| Credits | |
|---|---|
| Director | Scott "KaiserNeko" Frerichs |
| Writers | Scott "KaiserNeko" Frerichs Nick "Lanipator" Landis Curtis "Takahata101" Arnott Kirran "LordMoonstone" Somerlade |
| Voice Cast | |
| Lawrence "MasakoX" Simpson | Son Goku |
| Son Gohan | |
| Nick "Lanipator" Landis | Vegeta |
| Piccolo | |
| Krillin | |
| Shenron | |
| Mr. Popo | |
| Master Roshi | |
| Scott "KaiserNeko" Frerichs | King Kai |
| Trunks | |
| Korin | |
| Yajirobe | |
| Oolong | |
| Gyoshu | |
| Garlic Jr. | |
| Gregory | |
| Curtis "Takahata101" Arnott | Nappa |
| Dende | |
| Imperfect/Semi-Perfect/Perfect Cell | |
| Corinne "Megami33" Sudberg | Bulma |
| Chiaotzu | |
| Puar the Cat | |
| Baby Trunks | |
| Benjamin "Hbi2k" Creginton | King Cold |
| Nail | |
| Dr.Briefs | |
| Marc "GanXingba" Soskin | Tenshinhan |
| Android 17 | |
| Martin "LittleKurboh" Billany | Freeza |
| Narrator | |
| Anthony "Antfish" Sardinha | Mr. Satan |
| Kimlinh "Hnilmik" Tran | Chi Chi |
| Joshua "WeeklyTubeShow/Remix" Gotay | Kami |
| Android 16 | |
| Sansho | |
| Chayote | |
| Broly | |
| Chris "Faulerro" Tout | Yamcha |
| Shudo Ranmaru | Android 18 |
| Panti | |
| M.C Diya | Maron |
| Cliff Weinstein | Chuck |
| Zach Holzman | Jones |
| Marc Swift | Bush Rimjaw |
| Richard Harrison | |
| Christopher Guerrero | Dr. Gero |
| Cooler | |
| Chris Zito | The Wombat |
| Mick "RicePirate" Lauer | TJ |
| William Grant Smith | "Fuck Goku" Guy |
| Connor McKinley | Announcer |
| Orgy Guy 1 | |
| Paragus | |
| Xander Mobus | Jimmy Firecracker |
| KaiShinden | Larry the Cameraman |
| KuuEater | Orgy Guy 2 |
| Voice Directors | |
| Scott Frerichs Nick Landis | |
| Additional Art | |
| Stehan Krosecz Marc Swint Christopher Niosi | |
| Additional Animaton | |
| Stehan Krosecz Marc Swint Christopher Niosi Zach Manley Mailk Torihane | |
| Editor | |
| Scott Frerichs | |
| Addition SFX Work | |
| Lawrence "MasakoX" Simpson | |
| Music Composers | |
| Stephan Krosecz Cliff Weinstein | |
KRILLIN: I'm surprised you knew I'd be here.
ANDROID 18: Seemed like the obvious pick.
(cuts over to an outside shot of Kame House with a car outside)
KRILLIN: True! So, um. What can I do you for?
ANDROID 18: I made a promise to myself, and I'm here to keep it.
KRILLIN: Wanna see a movie? Or...
ANDROID 18: Dude, drop your pants.
KRILLIN: Oh, oh! O-okay, but, um, j-j-just a heads up. I'm a grower... (drops his pants, which is followed by an audible meaty thud)
ANDROID 18: Oh... my... God!
KRILLIN: What?
ANDROID 18: Get on the bed.
KRILLIN: Yes, ma'am!!
(Krillin Owned Count drops down from 39 to 38)
[Special Thanks and Patreon credits play with a still of Android 16, now with a halo, enjoying time with some birds by a tree as a music box version of Unmei no Hi plays. At the end is one last reminder that DragonBall Z Abridged is a fan-based parody, and to please support the official release, ending with the words "THANK YOU FOR WATCHING".]
(cut back to outside Kame House at night with Krillin being heard panting and Android 18 moaning along with a mattress squeaking, clearly indicating they are having sex. The Krillin Owned Count is now at 1)
KRILLIN: SCATTER BULLET! (fires a blast at the night sky, which splits and destroys the Krillin Owned Count meter) Haha!
ANDROID 18: Uff, wow...
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