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(Light Yagami and Ryuk approach Cell in the Cell Games arena. There is chanting in the background)

CELL: Oh, what am I hearing right now and can I buy it on Amazon?

LIGHT: "Perfect Cell", huh? What a joke.

CELL: Well, hello there, young man! Do you need help with your thesis? Well, here's a hypothesis for you:

(Light starts writing "Perfect Cell" in the Death Note)

CELL: "Cell will kill me if I don't turn my men's warehouse-looking ass around and march out of his ring!" For evidence: I provide this squirrel.

(Cell fires a ki blast that decapitates a nearby squirrel)

CELL: The conclusion is: Yes, I will kill you.

(Light finishes writing Cell's name)

CELL: Did you get that one down?

LIGHT: I am no mere schoolboy. You're speaking to the God of this new world.

CELL: Wow! Okay! And I thought it was a little gaudy when I said it. (chuckles) Then suddenly Justin Timberlake straddles up with his tie too tight and locks so luscious. That for the ladies or do you go to an all-boys school and meet with the other students behind the bleachers?

LIGHT: Hmmmmm

CELL: Naw, but seriously, why are you here?

(Cell's heartbeat is heard)

CELL: Taking photos for Snapchat? "Well, come here, fam, let's get lit! Get in here, we'll take some selfies! First one will be serious! Second one we'll make a funny face and put a sweet filter on it!"

(Cell's heartbeat stops)

CELL: Did you... did one of my hearts just stop?

(Light lets out a chocked gasp)

CELL: Did you just use a magical notebook given to you by a Death God to give me a heart attack?

LIGHT: Ryuk?

(Ryuk has Willem Dafoe's face. Cell fires a blast and Light screams. When the dust settles, only Cell is standing there)

CELL: Ah, damn it, I should have said "Zac Efron".