(Cell stands in the middle of the Cell Games arena)
CELL: Here it is. The final days before the end of the world. I should probably take in the calm before...
(Kazuma Kuwabara approaches the ring)
KUWABARA: Ho-holy crap! Urameshi, look at this guy's head!
CELL: Oh thank god, I was getting bored.
(Yusuke Urameshi enters the ring)
YUSUKE: Hey, bug man! What's your deal? Are you a demon, a monster, or just some dickhead in a costume?
CELL: Hmm. Technically all of the above. But more importantly, I'm the dickhead who's going to murder a couple of street toughs for daring to approach my arena for the Cell Games!...presented by Hetap.
YUSUKE: Well excuse us, chin strap, we were under the impression that your little tournament was an open invite. And between you and me, I don't like to pass up invitations on tournaments. Or to kick evil guys' asses.
KUWABARA: Yeah! Even when they're threatening to destroy the world! Wait, I mea-I mean especially! Especially when! You know, I think Hiei might have saved the other one.
YUSUKE: Don't hurt yourself, man.
CELL: I see. It seems my tournament has attracted some unintended participants! Then tell me, my ferocious teenage combatants: What do you bring to the table?
YUSUKE: With a single blast from my finger I can turn an S-rank demon into a pile of ash! Or shoot little pot-shots between the goal posts on your head.
KUWABARA: And I have a sword! It, uh, cuts through dimensions and, uh... stuff.
CELL: Mhm, mhm, very impressive, kids. Now. Which one can blow up the planet?
YUSUKE: I, uhh... What?
CELL: The gun or the sword? Which one could literally erase the planet form existence? Because I can do that with a finger.
(Cell starts charging up a blast from his finger. Yusuke throws his bag over his shoulder)
YUSUKE: Kuwabara, grap your crap. We're going back to Genkai's.
KUWABARA: Yeah! Whatever! You're not even worth it, bug man! Heh!
YUSUKE: Pompous green asshole, I'll show you what my middle finger can do...
CELL: They're going to have to take the bus home... 'cause they're kids.
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