(the scene starts with Gohan in his house, reading his Chinese book while humming "Come Out, Incredible Zenkai Power!", to which he is the interrupted by Chi-Chi coming into his room)
CHI-CHI: Gohan, Vegeta's here, looking for you.
GOHAN: What? Vegeta? Well, tell him I'll be right the--
VEGETA: *pops out of the window upside down* FIGHT ME!
GOHAN: AAAA--
(DragonShortZ Intro)
GOHAN: Vegeta!? What are you doing here!?
VEGETA: Pretty sure it's obvious. FIGHT ME!
GOHAN: No! What? Why? NO!
VEGETA: *floats down and reposistions himself* It's been over a year since your idiot father killed himself--
GOHAN: Saved us all.
VEGETA: --KILLED HIMSELF! And I haven't had a decent challenge since. So put down the math book, get your Gi on and fight me like you mean it!
GOHAN: ...Chinese.
VEGETA: What?
GOHAN: The book. I'm learning Chinese.
VEGETA: Why are you learning Chinese?
GOHAN: 30年后, 您就会知道。(Translation: In 30 years... You'll know.) Also, I'm not fighting you.
VEGETA: BULLSHIT! You have enough power under that hood to destroy the planet three times over, and you're just letting it go to waste!
GOHAN: Vegeta, my little brother is sleeping in the next room over, and mom just put him down. If you're really looking a fight, keep it up and she'll give you one.
VEGETA: ...This isn't over. *angrily floats away*
GOHAN: Bye, Vegeta.
(Scene Change: Outside Moro-Mart. Gohan exits the store, carrying two bags of groceries.)
GOHAN: Why does Mom need so much Chobani Yogurt?
(Gohan suddenly senses Vegeta's energy, and steps back as a ki blast hits the ground just in front of him.)
GOHAN: Wha... Vegeta!?
VEGETA: FIGHT ME!
GOHAN: I'm running errands!
VEGETA: More like running your mouth! How about you run those hands!?
GOHAN: My hands are full of sundries!
VEGETA: And you're full of excuses! LET'S GO!
GOHAN: Okay, look... I forgot to get pears. If you go to the store and grab them for me... I'll fight you.
VEGETA: FINE!
(Vegeta shoves Gohan aside and runs into Moro-Mart. Gohan glances around and flies away. Vegeta runs back.)
VEGETA: WAIT! PAIRS OF WHAT!?
(Scene Change: Capsule Corporation.)
GOHAN: Thanks for letting me use your telescope, Dr. Brief! (Gohan looks through the telescope) Comet Kamori only passes the Earth every one hundred-- (Gohan suddenly sees an unknown shooting star heading for the comet) Wait... What's that light? That's not a comet, it... Oh no...
(The light, which turns out to be Vegeta's Final Flash attack, hits Comet Kamori and blows it up. Gohan moves the telescope to the right, and sees Vegeta holding a sign saying "FIGHT ME. >:(")
GOHAN: NOOO~!
(Vegeta growls in rage.)
(Scene Change: Outdoors Somewhere)
(Gohan is riding on Flying Nimbus, humming "We Were Angels." Suddenly, a ki blast hits Flying Nimbus and sends Gohan plummeting towards the ground, screaming. He barely manages to catch himself before hitting the ground.)
VEGETA: Got 'cha that time!
GOHAN: (furious) WHAT IS YOUR DAMAGE!?
VEGETA: I haven't TAKEN ANY DAMAGE! THAT'S THE PROBLEM!
GOHAN: There's got to be someone else you can ask to fight you!
VEGETA: I TRIED!
(Flashback: The Lookout)
PICCOLO: No.
VEGETA: Oh, come on, why not?
PICCOLO: Because I don't want to.
VEGETA: What, you got something better to do?
PICCOLO: Nope.
(A long beat)
VEGETA: F*CK YOU, FIGHT ME!
PICCOLO: (sighs, then snaps up) Hm? ...Huh. Think that'd work?
VEGETA: Ummmm...
PICCOLO: Yeah, I guess it'd be pretty funny.
VEGETA: Who are you talking to--
(Piccolo fires a finger beam and breaks a nearby pot.)
VEGETA: Wha-- why did you--
PICCOLO: VEGETA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?
MR. POPO: WHO JUST BROKE RULE SIX!?
(Vegete eyes narrow in fear, then he turns on Piccolo)
VEGETA: I will remember this, Namekian.
PICCOLO: Please do.
(Vegeta flies away. Piccolo sighs, then fires a beam at the pot again, fixing it.)
PICCOLO: I should make myself a bed.
(Scene Change: Kame House)
KRILLIN: Well, honestly, I'm honored you thought of me, Vegeta. If you don't go Super Saiyan, who knows? Maybe I'll have a--
VEGETA: No, not you, you neurotic imp! Your woman!
ANDROID 18: Hey Vegeta! How are the arms?
VEGETA: They're fine... (stammers) NEVER MIND! GET OUT HERE! YOU OWE ME A REMATCH!
ANDROID 18: I owe a lot of people a lot of things. Most of them money. One an organ. One a live tiger...
KRILLIN: Yeah, your brother keeps calling about that.
ANDROID 18: But I don't owe you shit. You beat your kid, and ignore your wife. And when you're not doing that, you're trying to start fights with people because of your screaming ego. You remind me of my dad, but... at least he had the common courtesy to stay dead. So take your massive inferiority complex the hell off our beach... and maybe I'll fight you again someday. When you stop acting like such a massive c*nt.
(Vegeta is left stammering. The Flashback ends.)
VEGETA: After that, I looked for Triclops, but he's completely off the grid. So all that's left was... you.
GOHAN: Well, what about Yam--
VEGETA: I will obliterate your home.
GOHAN: Okay, geez! I'm... I'm sorry... But I'm still not going to fight you.
VEGETA: OH, C'M--SERIOUSLY!?
GOHAN: I don't like fighting, Vegeta! I only did it because it was literally do or die. And frankly, at this point, I'd be fighting you... out of pity. Is that what you want? A pity fight? (Vegeta is silent.) Yeah... Goodbye, Vegeta.
(Gohan flies away, leaving Vegeta standing alone. After a while, Vegeta pulls out his phone, brings up his contacts, and dials Nappa's number.)
(Scene Change: Unknown Location.)
(Nappa's phone lights up and starts vibrating. Nappa walks over and picks it up.)
NAPPA: Oop, thirty-six missed calls. (Puts the phone down) Not pulling the pin on that grenade.
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