[DISCLAIMER]
ANDROID 16: Physical media is forever, buy Laserdisc!
(cut to Bulma's house where Bulma, Yamcha, and Krillin are talking about DBZ soundtracks)
YAMCHA: I-I'm just saying, I know it was stolen but it was good music, right?
BULMA: Yeah, because it was stolen from better artists.
KRILLIN: What about the dub score?
YAMCHA: Oh yeah, let's start THAT flame war.
VEGETA: FREEZA'S HERE!
KRILLIN: F*CK!
PICCOLO: OH MY GOD!
GOHAN: WE'RE All GONNA DIE!
(cut to outside Mecha Freeza and King Cold's ship with Mecha Freeza, King Cold, and a group of Freeza Force soldiers)
MECHA FREEZA: That's right, buttholes! This is my resurrection! And you're all about to get F-
(Mecha Freeza is cut off by Future Trunks's sword slicing through him. The sword gets stuck halfway down and Future Trunks has to jiggle it to get it to keep moving before a large pool of blood shoots out of Mecha Freeza's torso, some of it covering Krillin)
KRILLIN: ...WOO!
[KAI OPENING SEQUENCE]
GOKU: Dragon Soul!
(cut to the area Goku is yet to arrive in where all the other characters are)
KRILLIN: So, what's your deal?
FUTURE TRUNKS: I'm here because we have no female fanbase.
BULMA: Well, you do now~
FUTURE TRUNKS: YOU NEED TO BE STOPPED!
(There is an explosion. Goku's ship is inside a crater)
GOKU: Hey, guys! I'm back and I'm off my meds!
(cut to Goku and Future Trunks having a private meeting)
FUTURE TRUNKS: Goku! The Red Ribbon Army has returned and-
GOKU: Only saw Z, who dat?
FUTURE TRUNKS: Listen! I'm from the future,
GOKU: Woah!
FUTURE TRUNKS: Bulma and Vegeta are my mom and dad,
GOKU: 'Kay...
FUTURE TRUNKS: and two "Androids" are going to show up to murder you all in three years!
GOKU: Woah! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!
FUTURE TRUNKS: Here's some heart medication. Don't not take it.
(Future Trunks proceeds to give Goku the heart medicine)
GOKU: But will I?
FUTURE TRUNKS: Alright, I'm out. Bye, Mom!
BULMA: What did he just-
FUTURE TRUNKS: Haha, just kidding, hah look at Vegeta's stupid shirt! (heads back to his timeline)
TIEN: More like Saiyan Pride Parade, am I right?
VEGETA: I am now going to breed the nearest female just to prove you wrong.
BULMA: Oh, cool.
PICCOLO: Should we be worried about the androids?
GOKU: Prolly.
(shows a time card that says "Three Years Later" with the French Narrator from SpongeBob reading it, accompanied by "Moloka'i Nui" playing in the background)
FRENCH NARRATOR FROM SPONGEBOB: Three years later...
(Cut to three years later. Ginger Town is in ruins)
RANDOM GIRL: FILLER!
(Random Girl gets crushed by debris)
GOKU: Guys! It's *a* set of androids! And Yamcha's here.
YAMCHA: I am?
(Yamcha gets impaled by Gero and his screams are muffled by Gero's hand)
GOKU: Yamcha's dead!
YAMCHA: (muffled) No, I'm not...!
GERO: (struggles to get his hand out of Yamcha's chest) Come on, you...! Blasted ribs got caught on my sleeve!
YAMCHA: (muffled cries)
GOKU: Need some help?
GERO: How dare you! 19, kill him!
(Android 19 punches Super Saiyan Goku)
GOKU: Agh! (clutches his chest) Ah, my heart! (drops out of Super Saiyan and collapses with a groan)
GOHAN: Dad's dead!
GOKU: (weakly) No, I'm not...! (Android 19 body-slams him) AAUGH!
GERO: Either the heart attack is going to kill him, or my Android is! Either way, victory for Gero--
ANDROID 19: (gets kicked off of Goku by Vegeta) Shit.
VEGETA: Vegeta... LIIIIIIVES!
GERO: Only saw Dragon Ball, who dis?
VEGETA: BEHOLDMAHPOWAH!!! (goes Super Saiyan)
GERO: (shocked) I feel like I underprepared for this.
VEGETA: DO YOU AFRAID?!
GERO: KIND OF?!
VEGETA: BAZINGAATAC-KUH!!! (fires a Big Bang Attack at 19)
ANDROID 19: Fuck. (gets hits by the attack and gets caught in an explosion)
(19's head rolls onto the ground)
ANDROID 19: Fa-a-ther, I wish to be a real boy... (powers down forever)
VEGETA: And now, to put the old man in a home; a FUNERAL home! I--
(Gero is suddenly gone)
VEGETA: Ah... Ah, shit. Damn, he runs fast for an old guy.
(cut to Krillin outside Gero's lab)
KRILLIN: Don't worry. I found his lab!
GERO: F*ck! They found my lab! But luckily, I have two more androids... (lights turns as Gero walks up to 17 and 18's pods) ...the original androids that were always a part of this story! Yes, from the very beginning! And now, I shall awaken them! Behold... (the pods open up, revealing Androids 17 and 18) My second greatest creations!
ANDROID 17: F*ck's that mean?
ANDROID 18: I dunno. (looks at 16's pod) Maybe he's referring to this?
GERO: No! Don't wake him up for some reason!
ANDROID 18: (smirks) Pft... I'm gonna.
FUTURE TRUNKS: NYYAAAAAAAA--! (fires an energy blast that kills Gero and levels his lab in a big explosion)
(The smoke clears, revealing 17 and 18 unscathed)
ANDROID 17: Duuuude! Caaaalm down!
FUTURE TRUNKS: No!
(16 comes out of his pod)
ANDROID 16: Hello, I am Android 16. I am hilarious and you will- BIRDS BIRDS BIRDS GOKU.
ANDROID 17: Hm. I like him.
(cut to Vegeta as Super Saiyan facing 17 and 18)
VEGETA: Hey, c*nt!
FUTURE TRUNKS: (surprised) Whoa, Dad!
VEGETA: What? She's a c*nt! A c*nty c*nt! Whatcha gonna do about it, you big ol' c*nt?! Gonna c*nt all over me with your c*nty face, and your c*nty boots, and your... (pauses) ...VAGINA?!
(18 glares at Vegeta)
ANDROID 18: ... (inhales sharply and roundhouse-kicks Vegeta's arm, breaking it with a loud crack)
VEGETA: AGH-!
(screen pauses with an Eric Andre Show track playing with the words "We'll be right back" appearing)
(cut to Future Trunks, Piccolo, and Tien on the ground unconscious)
VEGETA: AH! AH! AAH! (gets kicked to the ground) BAUUUAGH! AAAHH! (18 dropkicks his back) AAAAHHH! AAAAHHH! (18 steps on his other arm, breaking it) AH! AAAAAAAUUUUGGH!!!
KRILLIN: I feel like we underprepared for this!
ANDROID 17: (to Krillin) Hey. Don't bang my sister.
KRILLIN: (disappointed) Oh.
ANDROID 18: (kisses Krillin's cheeck) He might~.
KRILLIN: (exited) Oh~!
ANDROID 17: But don't.
KRILLIN: (disappointed again) Oh.
ANDROID 16: He wants pussy like I want Goku.
ANDROID 17: That sounds a little gay, dude.
(the Androids start flying away)
ANDROID 16: It is a little gay, dude.
(cut to the others)
PICCOLO: You know who could use some character development?
FUTURE TRUNKS: Gohan.
TIEN: Gohan.
KRILLIN: Gohan.
VEGETA: Kakarrot's brat.
PICCOLO: MEEEE!!! (flies away)
(cut to the Lookout)
PICCOLO: Kami! We have to kill some teenagers. Also, we cool now.
MR. POPO: I DID DRUGS THIS SCENE!
KAMI: You had me at "killing teenagers." (begins fusing with Piccolo) HWOAH!
PICCOLO: WHOOOOAAAA...!
(A white light momentarily engulfs the Lookout, and when it faces, Piccolo and Kami have merged together again)
PICCOLO: I'm THREE guys now!
NAIL & KAMI: ('Sup?)
(Piccolo begins flying off the Lookout)
KAMI: (Do you think this joke will get old?)
PICCOLO: (thinking) Nah, it's not Ghost Nappa.
KAMI: (Where's Goku, anyway?)
(Cuts to a Beruanga Animation of Goku being Izuku Midoriya, or Dekurot as he calls himself, from "My Hero Academia")
DEKUROT: I'm gonna be the greenest Goku ever!
(Vegeta appears as Katsuki Bakugou, or Bakugeta, if you will)
BAKUGETA: F*ck you, Dekurot! Kill yourself! WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
DEKUROT: God, you're such a deep character.
BAKUGETA: (grabs him by the shirt) F*ck me!
(cut to Goku sleeping off the heart attack)
GOKU: (in his sleep) I wish I was All Might...
GOHAN: I wish my dad was All Might...
(cut to Piccolo walking through the abandoned Ginger Town, talking about Bruce Faulconer's OST with Kami)
PICCOLO: (thinking) Look, I'm not saying it was the BEST music, but American kids grew up with it, you know?
KAMI: (That doesn't make it good; it just makes it nostalgic.)
(Smash Mouth's "All Star" is heard being whistled ominously in the distance)
PICCOLO: (hears it) Wait... what is that?
(Footsteps are heard as the person whistling approaches Piccolo. The mysterious figure stops whistling as it comes into view and reveals itself to be Imperfect Cell)
PICCOLO: ...Who--?
IMPERFECT CELL: SOME-!
["TO BE CONTINUED"]
[STINGER]
(cuts back to Goku's "My Hero Academia" dream with Nappa as All Might, or Nappall Might)
NAPPALL MIGHT: And remember, when you say "Plus Ultra", you really gotta say it like a Japanese dude. (eye glows like All Might's) Purusu... (poses like All Might) URUTORAAAA!!! Got it? Good. 'Cause I gotta go bang Dekurot's mom. (walks away) Straight up Professor Oak-in' that bitch.
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