"The Punchline" is the tenth episode of Team Four Star's DragonBall Z Abridged. Due to its length, it had to be split into three parts to be uploaded onto YouTube, each part being uploaded at a different date.
Summary[]
Part One[]
Vegeta laughs at the death of his childish, idiotic partner. He claims that he's so happy he might not kill everyone but, shortly after being questioned by a hopeful Krillin, he states that they (he, Goku and everyone else) are thoroughly screwed; much to Krillin's dismay. Goku decides to face Vegeta on his own and instructs Gohan and Krillin to get as far away from the battlefield as possible (which Krillin does without a moment of hesitation). Before parting ways, Gohan asks Goku if he has any messages to relay to Chi-Chi, and he does: which is for her to put dinner on because he is hungry.
Goku then requests that he and Vegeta take their fight elsewhere, since fighting on a battleground littered with the corpses of his fallen friends just doesn't feel right to Goku. After Vegeta agrees and they relocate to a desert, Goku gives Vegeta one opportunity to leave Earth and never return so no more blood needs to be shed before their fight begins. Vegeta disregards Goku's offer as tripe and belittles him for growing soft from living on the planet for so long and continue to boast when Goku asks if he's sure. Vegeta is then met with a Kaio-ken (responding "Kaio-what?") punch to the face by Goku, but he quickly counters this and proceeds to beat Goku. Vegeta then suggests Goku just gives up now but is then met with an even more powerful punch to the face from Goku, this time with the Kaio-ken times 3, Vegeta responding this time with "Times what?".
Goku's Kamehameha against Vegeta's Galick Gun.
Vegeta is sent flying into a plateau and tries to shake off the pain, sarcastically claiming to be surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream inside the plateau's indentation when Goku asks if he's okay. Not seeing the sarcasm in Vegeta's response, Goku asks if he can join, to which Vegeta groans 'I'm surrounded by idiots.' When Goku voices his confusion, saying he thought Vegeta was surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream, Vegeta snaps and, with a scream, destroys the plateau. Livid, Vegeta yells, "I will not stand for this! I will not be humiliated by a lower-class wretch!" Goku takes it as though Vegeta is suffering from a headache due to having too much ice cream. Furious, Vegeta begins to charge up his Galick Gun. Goku merely says that it's not nice. Vegeta furiously roars "OF COURSE NOT! I'M F**KING EVIL!" Quickly realizing Vegeta's intentions, Goku charges up and fires his Kamehameha and it clashes with the Prince's beam. After an epic clash, Goku takes the Kaio-ken to a dangerous 4th level, overpowering Vegeta's Galick Gun and sending him vanishing into the sky with a long "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--".
Back at Kame House, Master Roshi, Bulma, Chi-Chi, Ox-King, and Oolong reminisce on the old times when they were out there with our main heroes and made a difference, contrary to what they do now, just watching from the sidelines. Bulma even voices her wonder to where Launch, one of the main characters from Dragon Ball, is but no one seems to remember her.
Somewhere above the clouds of Earth, Vegeta, after finishing his scream with "--UUUUUUUCK", manages to wrench himself off the Kamehameha beam and rages at having been beaten by someone as lower class as Goku. He does have another plan, however, which is to become the mighty Ōozaru and crush Goku for good. However, thanks to Piccolo, the Earth no longer has a moon that Vegeta needs for his Ōozaru transformation, much to his chagrin. But despite this, Vegeta returns to Goku and presents an artificial moon that supplies the necessary resource needed for Vegeta to transform (Which Goku mistakes for cheese, further bemusing Vegeta, who claims he's going to enjoy hurting Goku far more than he should). Vegeta throws the artificial moon into the air and begins transforming.
Finding that even at the size of a giant ape Vegeta is still as fast as ever, Goku desperately thinks up a plan, which is to "think like a monkey". In the process, he is contacted by King Kai to instead use the Spirit Bomb to defeat Vegeta. He begins gathering the energy he needs but forgets to remain well hidden from the Saiyan ape, getting pummeled into the ground instantly ending King Kai's call.
Part Two[]
Goku gets pummeled into a rock formation. Vegeta begins to mock Goku for his weakness and boasts how he is ten times stronger in his ape form! Goku starts thinking about his high school days which were bad for him when the guys called him Geeko, and he was Piccolo's slave and he couldn't get Chi-Chi to like him. However, that made Goku realize that he hit his head on the rock harder than he thought. As Vegeta charges toward him, Goku starts thinking about what would Yamcha do, the scene cuts to Yamcha getting blown up by a Saibamen then Goku started to think about what Tien would do and he gets an idea. He runs to Vegeta and uses the Solar Flare on him, blinding the Saiyan. Vegeta comments that it's liking walking in on Freeza in the shower, but he then realizes that Freeza is technically always naked and he screams again.
With Vegeta distracted, Goku starts gathering energy for the Spirit Bomb. He finally gathers enough energy for the Spirit Bomb but decides to get some more energy, thinking that it wouldn't hurt. This results in a father deer dying while his daughter watches in confusion. Back to Goku, just when he's about to throw the Spirit Bomb Vegeta uses his beam attack and blasted him into a rock formation, causing him to fall to the ground and lose control of the Spirit Bomb. When Goku collapses to the ground, Vegeta makes a bad joke "What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?", leaving Goku confused. This leads to Vegeta crushing Goku's legs whilst screaming "Christopher Reeve", making Goku scream in pain and cry out, "THAT WAS IN TERRIBLE TASTE!" Vegeta doesn't care, as he's evil, and makes another bad pun. That leads to Goku blasting him in the eye, again blinding the Prince. With Vegeta now thoroughly pissed and with Goku unable to escape due to the broken legs, Goku screams in pain as he begins to get crushed by Vegeta. Krillin and Gohan overhear Goku's cries of pain and quickly come to the rescue.
Just before their arrival, Vegeta makes an interesting discovery: if Goku is squeezed hard enough, he squeaks like a squeaky toy! Vegeta finds it hilarious and does it more, but it stopped by Gohan who shouts, "GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF HIM, YOU DAMN DIRTY APE!" Vegeta is unimpressed by this, for obvious reasons, and taunts about what Gohan could do. The boy gives a lengthy, scientific threat on Vegeta's one flaw (that flies right over Goku and Vegeta's heads), which he translates into: "The bigger they are, the harder they fall!".
Vegeta is still unimpressed and goes on to boast on how all the planet’s fighters were slaughtered and that there's no one left to stop him, even dodging Krillin's Kienzan from behind. However, he is blind sighted by Yajirobe, who appears out of nowhere, and his tail is sliced right off, reverting into his human form. Even with the loss of his tail, Vegeta is still strong and goes in to fight Gohan after he easily beats Krillin. Meanwhile, Goku beckons Krillin to come over and gives him the Spirit Bomb to throw at Vegeta, but only because he has no other options.
"BOOYAH, MOTHERFUCKER!"
Overwhelmed by such power, Krillin thinks of something to say...but ends up just lobbing it at Vegeta screaming: 'Booyah, motherf**ker!' Unfortunately, Vegeta notices the Spirit Bomb behind him and dodges. Gohan prepares to deflect it on Goku's command but loses preparation when Goku tells him the Bomb might kill him. The Bomb then ricochets off Gohan's hands and, in the middle of another monologue, Vegeta pauses. "What smells like deer?" Before he can do anything, Vegeta is struck by the Spirit Bomb and is sent flying into the air, screaming "CURSE MY HUBRIS!"
For a moment, it seems like they won. Krillin and Gohan go over to Goku, overjoyed. It seems like they never have to see that rotten Saiyan again. However, Krillin is only half right as Vegeta’s body comes crashing down. Yajirobe comes by and asks if he can "Eat that Saiyan." Krillin walks over to Vegeta's unconscious body and says at least it's finally over. That is, it would be over if Vegeta didn't wake up with a furious war-cry.
Part Three/Finale[]
Vegeta bitch-slaps Krillin and decides to end the rest of them with a BIG-BANG...kind of attack. After the attack, he finds out that they're all still alive and plans to kill them all one-by-one without any trouble. Yajirobe uses his sword against Vegeta, which ends up cutting through his armor. Vegeta says that it was a gift from his father. Yajirobe responds that he thinks the Prince's father (King Vegeta) was a very great man. Vegeta admits that he hated his father and when Yajirobe says he's sure Vegeta's father was a total prick he starts to punch Yajirobe.
"Oh no! Gohan's transformed! He's gonna kill us all!"
Meanwhile, Gohan is looking at the artificial moon which is created by Vegeta himself. Vegeta thinks he forgets something and Gohan turns into the mighty Ōozaru. Vegeta then thinks of becoming one himself, but then remembers that Yajirobe cut his tail off. Then he keeps punching Yajirobe. Vegeta gets frustrated because nobody just dies. Ōzaru Gohan is causing destruction and then he gets reminded of Icarus by Goku. Goku claims Vegeta killed Icarus, which makes Ōozaru Gohan pissed. Vegeta complains that he hasn't killed a single person on earth, not for lack of trying, mind you. He proceeds to use a Kienzan attack to cut off Gohan's tail permanently, singing that he's the best around and no one's ever going to keep him down. However, Gohan crushes Vegeta while falling, leaving him severely damaged and crippled.
Vegeta states that he's been crushed and broken beneath an unconscious, naked child, and decides that he's done on earth, deciding to call for his space pod. Then he gets threatened by Krillin. Just as Krillin was about to kill Vegeta, he gets stopped by Goku. Goku asks if Vegeta is sorry and if he says he is sorry he can leave. Vegeta can't believe this. Krillin thinks it's not smart because Vegeta killed all their friends. Vegeta says sarcastically that he is sorry and that he feels terrible. Goku then orders Krillin to let him go. Vegeta says he's sorry that they're all still alive, then flies away with his pod. Vegeta is disappointed that he failed his mission and says that it can't get any worse. Vegeta is wrong, because while in space Vegeta gets haunted by Ghost Nappa. Ghost Nappa says that he is haunting him and Vegeta starts to scream, as his scream fading to play Ghost Nappa's theme.
Cast[]
In Part One[]
- Lanipator – Vegeta, Krillin, Piccolo
- MasakoX – Goku, Gohan, Master Roshi
- LittleKuriboh – Narrator
- KaiserNeko – King Kai, Gregory
- Hbi2k – Bubbles
- Vegeta3986 – Bojack, Oolong
- Megami33 – Bulma
- Kirbopher – Ox-King
- Whiteash – Launch, Phone Operator
- Takahata101 – Penis Guy
In Part Two[]
In Part Three[]
- Lanipator – Vegeta, Krillin
- MasakoX – Goku, Gohan
- KaiserNeko – Yajirobe, Icarus, King Kai
- Ganxingba – Kirk
- Takahata101 – Spock, Ghost Nappa
- LittleKuriboh – Narrator
Music[]
In Part One[]
- Shunsuke Kikuchi – Cha-La-Head-Cha-La Prologue
- Korn – Coming Undone
- Shunsuke Kikuchi – Garlic Jr.'s Castle
- The Singing Sea from Cowboy Bebop
In Part Two[]
- Shunsuke Kikuchi & Hironobu Kageyama – Cha-La-Head-Cha-La
- Shunsuke Kikuchi – Son Goku to Piccolo Daimao
- Hirano Yoshisha – Nocturne for Orchestra
- Hideaki Kobayashi – Wish Upon the Chaos Emeralds
- Iwasaki Tarou – Omae no XXX Ten wo Tarou
In Part Three[]
- Kouhei Tanaka and Shiroh Hamaguchi – Kuetara, The Grand Line!
- Shinji Miyazaki – Setting of
Running Gags[]
- Krillin Owned Count 9: Krillin is beat to the ground by Vegeta after his tail is cut off (Part 2).
- Krillin Owned Count 10: Krillin gets bitch slapped by Vegeta (Part 3).
- The "Kaio-What" joke makes its debut and appears twice in the first part of the episode:
- Goku shouts "Kaio-ken!", in which a confused Vegeta asks "Kaio-what?", only to be hit by Goku immediately after.
- After removing his shirt, Goku shouts "Kaio-ken times three!", Vegeta asks "Times what?" and gets punched by Goku into a plateau.
Trivia[]
- This is the first episode that is split into three parts.
- In Part 2, there is a jab against DragonBall Evolution.
- This is the only time Vegeta uses his Ōozaru form and the last time Gohan uses his Ōozaru form.
- This episode so far marks the only appearance of Launch.
- This is the last episode to use footage from the Orange Brick boxsets of Dragon Ball Z; all later episodes utilize footage taken from the limited-edition Dragon Boxes, due to the latter's superior visual quality.
- This is the first time a Solar Flare was used and the only time that it didn't flash a disturbing picture.
- The commercial break eyecatchers from the original series (with the DBZA logo) appear at 5:56 of Part 2, right after Vegeta interrupts a father-son moment with a knee to Goku's stomach. This is the only time to date these eyecatchers have been used in DBZ Abridged.
- A deleted scene shown at the end of the second Blooper Special explains that Yajirobe was only present at the battle because he smelled something cooking, which turned out to be Yamcha. Based on his response to Krillin, he was tempted to eat the body anyway but chose not to.
- In part 2, after Vegeta's body lands, Yajirobe asks Krillin if he's going to eat Vegeta. This is a reference to the King Piccolo saga in the original story, in which Yajirobe wanted to eat Goku after his defeat against King Piccolo.
- In an interview with Totally Not Mark, Kaiserneko recalled how difficult it was to work on the Season 1 finale. More specifically, they had to cut a lot of the fight scenes as they had no idea how to make them funny at the time. So, they had to figure out ways to balance out the fighting with the humor.
- When Goku tells Gohan that Vegeta killed Icarus, it seems to be a mockery of the dub lines from the french and Saban dubs when Goku thinks Vegeta killed his grandpa and destroyed the martial arts tournament as a great ape (with Vegeta saying that he hadn't killed anyone since he landed on Earth........except Vegeta Jr.)
Episode Transcriptions (English)[]
Part 1[]
[Disclaimer read by KaiserNeko]
VEGETA: Hahaha! Aha! He’s gone! He’s finally gone! I’m so happy right now! I might not even slaughter you all!
KRILLIN: R-- really?
VEGETA: Haha! Ha! Oho! Oh. Oh no; you’re all thoroughly screwed.
KRILLIN [off-screen]: Awww...
GOKU: Gohan, Krillin – I’ll handle Vegeta on my own. I need the both of you to get as far away as– [Whoooosh] Where’d Krillin go?
KRILLIN [crying]: Aaaahahaahaah...!!
GOKU: Gohan, follow Krillin. Get home to your mother.
GOHAN: Right, Daddy. Is there anything you want me to tell her?
GOKU: Yes, Gohan. Tell her
[ ♪♪Coming Undone♪♪ ]
GOKU: To put dinner on.
[ ♪♪Coming Undone♪♪ ]
GOKU: Because I'm hungry.
[ ♪♪Coming Undone♪♪ ]
[♫ "Cha-La Head-Cha-La" ♫]
VEGETA: Alright, are you ready for this?
GOKU: You bet I am! But first, why don’t we take this battle somewhere else?
VEGETA: What's wrong with here?
GOKU: I don’t know. Something about it doesn’t feel right.
VEGETA: Well, it is a little corpse-y.
[Wind blowing]
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, on King Kai’s planet...
KING KAI (Mentally): 'So, the fight is about to begin. The showdown between the Saiyan elite; and the low-class warrior, trained by me.'
KING KAI: Takin’ all bets, guys! Takin’ all bets!
[Monkey noises]
BOJACK: Yargh! I bet 50 gold doubloons on the short one.
GREGORY: Uh, sir, is this really appropriate? If Goku loses, the entire Earth could be destroyed.
KING KAI: ...You were saying...?
GREGORY: D’ah. 1,000 zeni on Goku.
NARRATOR: Hey, can I get in on this?
KING KAI: Wait a second! Don’t you already know the outcome of the fight?
NARRATOR: N-- noooo~
GOKU: This is it!
VEGETA: Ah, yes. A *perfect* place to mark your grave.
GOKU: Listen. We don’t have to do this, you know. If you leave now and promise to never come back, I’ll let you go. And we can stop this meaningless bloodshed.
VEGETA: Such tripe! Where’s your Saiyan pride, Kakarot? We are proud warriors - bred to fight and conquer! This planet has made you soft.
GOKU: Are you sure about this? Because even if you’re a little~ sorry--
VEGETA: No! I'm not sorry!
GOKU: Are you absolutely sure you--
VEGETA: Yes! I am entirely sure! I’m going to obliterate you and the rest of this planet myself with my own two--
GOKU: Kaio-ken!!
VEGETA: Kaio-wha--
GOKU: AAAH!
VEGETA: Uwagh!
[Goku grunts]
VEGETA [Panting]: Okay, not bad... but still nothing compared to me. Now witness the power of a Saiyan elite!
GOKU: Elite? What's that mean?
VEGETA: It means I’m of the upper class. A finer breed! The highest grade of warrior!
[Wind blows]
VEGETA: (Sigh), okay, consider yourself beef jerky while I’m filet mignon.
GOKU: Oooh, I like both those things!
VEGETA: I’m going to start beating you now. I don’t know when I’ll stop.
GOKU: Hopefully before dinner. 'Cause I told Gohan to tell Chi-Chi that– AH! Unh!
VEGETA: Hah! What’s wrong, Kakarot? Can’t keep up?! I told you, Kakarot. There’s no way you can measure up to an elite like me! You’re fighting a losing battle here! You may as well just surrender this pathetic planet now and--
GOKU: KAIO-KEN TIMES *THREE*!
VEGETA: Times wha--? AAAAAGHHH--!! This... proves... nothing...!
GOKU: Are you okay in there?
VEGETA [o-s]: Yah. I’m fan-f**king-tastic. Nothing but gumdrops and ice cream in here.
GOKU: Oh, really?! Can I come in too?!
VEGETA [o-s]: I’m surrounded by idiots...
GOKU: I thought you were surrounded by gumdrops and ice cream…
VEGETA: WAAAAAAAAHHHHH! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS! I WILL NOT BE HUMILIATED BY A LOW-CLASS WRETCH!
GOKU: Aww, sounds like somebody’s got an ice cream headache!
VEGETA: THAT’S IT! EVERYONE DIES! SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR PLANET, KAKAROT!
GOKU: Well that's not very nice...
VEGETA: OF COURSE NOT! I’M F**KING EVIL!! GALICK GUN…!
GOKU: Oooh! Did he say garlic--
VEGETA: HUUUAAAARRRGH...!
GOKU: ...Oh, man! KAAAAAAA… MEEEEE… HAAAAAAAA… MEEEEEEEE…
VEGETA: ...FIIIIIIIREEE!!!
GOKU: ...HAAAAAAAAA!!!!
VEGETA: This is the end, Kakarot! You don’t stand a chance! I put all my power into this attack! Now perish, with the rest of your pathetic world!
GOKU: [Grunting] KAIO-KEN...
VEGETA: Noooo...!
GOKU: TIIIIIIIMES...
VEGETA: No, no no!
GOKU: FOUUUURRRR!
VEGETA: NononononononoNONO– FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuu...!
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
[Clock ticking]
BULMA: Remember when we used to do stuff? You know? Be out there with them? And help?
[Sounds of agreement]
OOLONG: And remember the Red Ribbon Army?
[All agree]
ROSHI: And what about King Piccolo?
[Assent]
BULMA: Whatever happened to Launch?
ROSHI: Who?
[ ♪♪ “The Singing Sea” from Cowboy Bebop ♪♪ ]
LAUNCH: (Sigh)
NARRATOR: Meanwhile, back at the plot...
VEGETA: ...UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! [Panting] Son of a BITCH! This can't be happening! I’m the Prince! I’m supposed to be the best by default!
VEGETA [Panting]: I'll show that little bastard! I’ll become the mighty Oozaru, and crush him into the--! ...Where’s the Moon? WHERE’S THE DAMN MOON?!
PICCOLO: MOOOOOOOOON~!
GOKU: Huh?
VEGETA: Very clever, Kakarot! I’d taken you for a fool but it seems you’re far more cunning than you let on! But destroying the Moon won’t stop me! We’ve learned to create artificial moons that supply the necessary Bl--
GOKU: Question!
VEGETA: What?
GOKU: Are they made of cheese?
VEGETA: I’m going to enjoy this far more than I should.
GOKU: Ah, uwaaahaa...!
VEGETA: Now watch, Kakarot! As your life becomes inconsequential, as I reveal my GIANT MONKEY--
AUDIENCE: [Aghast gasps]
VEGETA: ...form!
AUDIENCE: [Sighs of relief]
BYSTANDER: Thank God; I thought he meant penis!
VEGETA: [Growling with a deepening voice]
GOKU (Mentally): 'He's getting huge! That means he’ll only be stronger. That means he won’t be as fast--'
GOKU: Oh-God-he’s-still-as-fast!
VEGETA: ROOAAARGH!
GOKU (Mentally): 'He’s too powerful! I have to come up with a plan! Wait! I know!'
GOKU: I just have to think like a monkey! Hmmm…
[Monkey noises]
GOKU (Mentally): 'Hey! It’s working!'
KING KAI [telephatically]: No, that’s just Bubbles. Get off my back, Bubbles!
[Thud] [Bubbles groans]
KING KAI: Goku, listen! The only way you can beat him is if you use the Spirit Bomb!
GOKU [t]: On it!
KING KAI [t]: And whatever you do, make sure you’re very well hidden! It’s going to take a lot of time to gather up all that energy!
GOKU: AAAAUGH!
[Static]
PHONE OPERATOR: We’re sorry. The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected. Please hang up and try again later.
KING KAI: Huh...
▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
Part 2[]
[Disclaimer read by KaiserNeko]
GOKU: Aaaaaaaahhhaaa....!
{Thud}
VEGETA: What did I tell you, Kakarot? I'm ten times stronger in this form, while you are beaten and weary!
GOKU (Mentally): 'Man. This is worse than that time I was in high school, and all the guys called me "Geeko", and I was Piccolo's slave, I couldn't get Chi-Chi to like me, and--'
GOKU: Oh, wow. I hit that rock harder than I thought.
VEGETA: Now, Kakarot... to FINISH THIS!
GOKU (Mentally): 'Oh, man. What would Yamcha do?'
{BOOM}
GOKU (Mentally): 'Um, um... what would Tien do?!'
GOKU: Wait, I know!
VEGETA: Prepare to die, Kakarot!
GOKU: Solar Flare!
VEGETA: AAAAAugh! Aaaah! Damn, my eyes! Oh God, it's like walking in on Freeza in the shower! Wait a minute, Freeza's always naked… GAAAAHHH!!
VEGETA [in background]: Kakarot, when I find you you're going to die! And not any
GOKU: All right! That should buy me some time, now let's see.
VEGETA [in background]: sort of good death! You’re going to die horribly, terribly, I’m going to eat your--
GOKU: Planet! Give me your energy -- everything you can spare! Oceans, Forests,
VEGETA: I’m going to hammer you...
GOKU: People of the planet,
VEGETA: (indistinguishable), you're gonna be so *dead*!
GOKU: and all the animals that live alongside them!
[Energy noises]
GOKU: There! I think I have enough energy... but, maybe a little more wouldn't hurt.
[Deer groans]
BABY DEER: Daddy? Daddy?
GOKU (Mentally): 'All right! That should do it! All finished.'
VEGETA: Hurgh, finally, I can see again. Kakarot, I am going to KILL you!
GOKU: Now, take this: Energy from the entire *world*!
VEGETA: HURAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
GOKU (Mentally): 'Well, if that don't beat all...'
GOKU: AAAAAAAAH! Ugh!
VEGETA: Hey, Kakarot, what's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
GOKU: Huh?
VEGETA: Christopher Reeves!
{POW}
GOKU: AAAAAAAOOWWW! That was in terrible ta-a-aste...!
VEGETA: Don't care; evil! Now, time to crush you like an Arlian.
GOKU: A... what?
VEGETA: Exactly! Now die!
GOKU: Huhh!
VEGETA: Argh! AAAAAAAAH!! Again with the f**king eye! God...dammit!
GOKU: Hah! Now to make my cunning escape. (Grunts) Huh! Hah! [More grunting] Hah! {Smash} Ah, that would be awesome.
VEGETA: I've had enough of this. I'm going to crush the life out of you, you insolent little--
{CRUNCH} GOKU: AAAAAAAAAH...!
GOHAN: Krillin, are you sure my Dad's going to be okay all on his own?
KRILLIN: Oh, come on, Gohan. You saw how much stronger your dad's become. I'm sure he can take care of--
GOKU [off-screen, in distance]: AAAAAAAAAH...!
KRILLIN: Ah, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter...
GOKU: AAAAAAAAAUGH!
VEGETA: All right, Kakarot. Let's hear those bones shatter!
{CRUNCH} GOKU: AAUAGH--{SQUEAK}
VEGETA: What the...
GOKU: AUAGH--{SQUEAK}
VEGETA: Oh my God, that's hilarious!
GOKU: [Repetitive squeaks]
VEGETA: Hahahaha, muhahahahaha!
GOHAN: Get your filthy hands off of him, you damn dirty ape!
VEGETA: Oh, very creative. And what exactly will you do if I don't?
GOHAN: I'll make you regret it! Law of mass dictates that the mass of an object dramatically increases the force of impact when said object collides with the ground; and, with your size, you'll make an extensively large impact upon your inevitable defeat!
VEGETA: ...What? GOKU: ...What?
GOHAN: The bigger they are, the harder they *fall*!
GOKU: ...What? {SQUEAK} ARGH! Stop that!
VEGETA: Listen, kid, you're real brave and all, but your dad's beaten and broken, and neither of you have the skill or energy--
KRILLIN: Kienzan!
[Thud]
VEGETA: ...to take me on.
KRILLIN [o-s]: Da-a-amnit!
VEGETA: You're finished! All of your planet's greatest fighters! ALL of them *worthless* in the presence of a Saiyan elite! None of you can stop me! NONE OF YOU--! [Slash] Uhhh-uh..?
[Dramatic drum beat]
[Thud]
YAJIROBE: Runningrunningrunningrunningrunning!
VEGETA: Uh, ohh...
[Thud] {SQUEAK} GOKU: Ow...
VEGETA: God… God.... damn iiiiiiii (voice transitions from growly to normal) iiiit. [Labored breathing]
KRILLIN: He's back to normal! Gohan, we can do this! We can beat him! WE HAVE A CHAN--! Aha!
{DING}
KRILLIN: Oh, God... (sobbing)
VEGETA: You know, I thought I'd be angrier; what with the utter humiliation and loss of my tail... or maybe I'm just so *unbelievably* enraged that I have come full circle. Oh well. Either way, it's time to put an end to this.
GOKU [telepathically]: G...Gohan... is that you?
GOHAN [t]: Hey, Daddy. I'm.... really sorry.
GOKU [t]: It's okay, Gohan. You tried your best. At least... you got home to your mother... and told her to--
GOHAN [t]: Um! Actually, I never went home. I came back to save you.
GOKU [t]: Oh...
GOHAN [t]: D...Daddy?
GOKU [t]: Everyone makes mistakes, Gohan. But we have to be strong now, okay?
GOHAN [t]: Daddy...
GOKU [t]: Son!
♪♪
GOKU: Ungh!
[♫ DBZ intermission (pre-commercial) ♫]
[♫ DBZ intermission (post-commercial) ♫]
GOKU: Ugh!
GOHAN: No-ho-oh!
VEGETA: What now, Kakarot? You damaged me! You cut off my tail! You've insulted me beyond belief. But you still haven't taken my pride!
GOHAN: Hah!
VEGETA: Oh my pride!
GOHAN: I'll teach you to hurt my Daddy!
VEGETA: What are you going to do, huh?! You barely have any energy left!
GOHAN: Hah!
VEGETA: Uwagh!
VEGETA (Mentally): 'D'AAAH! MY EYE! Why is it always the goddamn eye?!'
GOKU: K...Krillin... come here… I have something to give you.
KRILLIN: Your last will and testament?
GOKU: No, it's energy from the entire world. It's our last hope!
KRILLIN: ...And you're giving it to ME...?
GOKU: I'm... kind of out of options.
KRILLIN: Holy crap! So THIS is what being important feels like!
VEGETA: Hyah! GOHAN: AAAAAHH!
VEGETA: All right, Kakarot. Say goodbye to your son!
KRILLIN (Mentally): 'Wow, such power! From every living being on the planet! I can feel it all surging inside of me. Every man, woman, and child! This... is Planet Earth's very *essence*!'
KRILLIN: BOOYAH, MOTHERF**KER!
VEGETA: Wh-what the hell is--
KRILLIN: ENJOY YOUR STAY IN HELL!
VEGETA: RAH!
KRILLIN: *Gyaaaah*! *Goddamn it*!
GOKU [t]: Gohan... listen. You have to bounce it back at Vegeta!
GOHAN [t]: But, are you sure? I don't think energy works like that.
GOKU [t]: Don't worry, Gohan. You can do it. You're a *good guy*!
GOHAN [t]: Oh... okay... if you believe in me, then I'll--
GOKU [t]: Or, it'll kill you.
GOHAN [t]: WHAT?! {BOING} AAAH...!
VEGETA: There's nothing left now. Your last hope and you missed. You're all defeated and there isn't a damn thing you can--
VEGETA (Mentally): 'What smells like deer?'
VEGETA: WAAAAAAAGH! {KABOOM} CURSE MY HUBRIS!!!
KRILLIN: YAHOO!! Goku, we did it! We won! We beat him with the Spirit Bomb!
GOKU [t]: Way to go, you guys.
GOHAN: [Laughing]
KRILLIN: All right, Goku. Let's get you and Gohan home. It's been tough, but now, we'll never have to see that rotten Saiyan ever again.
{WHAM}
KRILLIN: *Alive* again. We'll never have to see him alive again, that's what I meant. (Sigh)... but at least it's finally over.
YAJIROBE [o-s]: You gunna eat that Saiyan?
KRILLIN: ...Wha--?
YAJIROBE: Dibs!
KRILLIN: Rrright... anyway, it seems the Spirit Bomb's done the trick. And with that, we can all go home and live in peace and--
VEGETA: HUAAAAAAAH!!
KRILLIN and VEGETA: (Screaming)
GOHAN, KRILLIN, and VEGETA: (Screaming)
YAJIROBE, GOHAN, KRILLIN, and VEGETA: (Screaming) [This lasts for a bit…]
GOKU: What's goin' on, guys? We won, right?
▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
Part 3[]
[Disclaimer read by KaiserNeko]
VEGETA: You know, at a time like this I really only have one thing to say to you: BITCH-SLAP!
KRILLIN: OH SNAP!
VEGETA: And as for the rest of you… I’m going to end this… with a BIG BANG ...kind of attack. Huaaaaaaaaa...!
GOKU: Oh, this isn’t going to end well...
VEGETA: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
KRILLIN: WAA-HAA!
VEGETA: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!
GOKU: AAAH...!
GOHAN: WAAAH...!
{DOOM}
{BOOM}
VEGETA: (Panting) Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me! They’re still alive?! Oh, to hell with it…
VEGETA (Mentally): 'I may not have enough energy to kill you all at ONCE, but I can still kill all of you without any troub--'
YAJIROBE: YYUUUUUNNGGGHH!!!
VEGETA: Ah! Yeeaaaugh!
YAJIROBE: Ungh!
VEGETA: You... you cut through my armor! This was a gift from my FATHER!
YAJIROBE: D'ah I’m sorry, I’m sure your father was a great man!
VEGETA: I HATED my father!
YAJIROBE: Oh well then I’m sure your father was a total prick.
VEGETA: How dare you talk about my father like that! {POW} {POW} {POW} {POW} {POW} Hahahah! Finally! I can just sit back and enjoy myself. {POW} {POW} {POW} No cares in the world!
[Heartbeat]
{POW} {POW} {POW} {POW} {POW} VEGETA: I can beat these worthless cretins all day long and I….
[Heartbeat]
VEGETA: I think I’m forgetting something...
[Inhuman growling]
VEGETA: Oh dammit, the kid! That’s right!!!
VEGETA (Mentally): 'Oh wait, I’ll just become the mighty Oozaru and...'
VEGETA: wait… I don’t have my tail! This fat bastard cut it off!!
YAJIROBE: Hahaaaa… Ungh!
{POW} {POW} {POW} {POW} {POW} {POW} {POW} {POW} VEGETA: No, no, stop it! Stop it damn you! WHYYY?! WHY WON’T YOU PEOPLE JUST DIIIE?!
GOHAN: (growling)
KRILLIN: Yay! Gohan’s transformed! He’s gonna save us all!
GOHAN: (Repeated roars)
KRILLIN: Oh no! Gohan’s transformed! He’s gonna kill us all!!
GOHAN: ROARRRGH!
GOKU: Gohan? This is Daddy… [Gohan cotinues to roar in the background] I know you’re angry right now... but you have to focus your anger. Re--... remember Icarus?
[Icarus chittering]
[Energy building up]
{BOOM}
GOHAN: Nrrrrrgh...
GOKU [off-screen]: He did it!
GOHAN: ROOOOOOAAAAARRRRRGH!
VEGETA: OH THAT'S *BULLS**T*! {Crash} I haven't killed a damned thing since I got to this godforsaken planet! ...Not for lack of trying, mind you!
GOHAN: (Roaring)
VEGETA: Hunh! Hey, *fatass*! You wanna take off this one’s tail too?!
YAJIROBE: Auuughh... ugggghhh... ehhuhh...
VEGETA: FINE! I’ll DO IT MYSELF THEN! [Slash]
GOHAN: (groaning)
VEGETA: Haha! I did it! ♪ I’m the best... around! ♪ No-one’s ever gonna keep me down! ♪
GOHAN: (groaning)
VEGETA: No… NOOOOO!!!!
[Booming crash]
VEGETA (Mentally): 'Crushed and broken beneath an unconscious naked child… Yep... I think I'm done here.'
{BEEPBEEP}
KIRK: So, Mister Spock, what do you make, of this... ship?
SPOCK: Well, sir, I would have find it highly illogical to refer to this as a “ship”; the spherical design incorporates no propulsion system. It looks more like an orbiting vessel, or a satell--
KIRK: AAH-AAH! SPOCK: AAH-AAH!
[Pod whooshing]
KIRK: …Suck it, Spock!
[Pod whooshes, thuds]
[Ka-chunk]
VEGETA (Mentally): 'Alright, I’m just gonna get in my ship… gonna fly back to Freeza Station… and I’m gonna sleep this off like a baaad hangover...'
KRILLIN: You’re not going anywhere! You think you can kill all of our friends and threaten our lives, and just *leave*?!
VEGETA: Would you be surprised if I said “yes”?
KRILLIN: I’m going to end this! And YOU! RIGHT NOW! NOW DIE!! YAAAAAAAAAAA--!!
GOKU: Krillin! Wait! Vegeta… are you sorry?
VEGETA: W--... what?
GOKU: If you say you’re sorry, Vegeta... then you can leave.
VEGETA: ...You can't be serious.
KRILLIN: What are you talking about, Goku?? He killed all our friends!
GOKU: But, Krillin... if he’s sorry... truly sorry… then there’s nothing we can do.
VEGETA: I’m sorry. Yep, *totally* sorry. I just feel terrible.
GOKU: Let him go, Krillin.
KRILLIN: But, but Goku...!
VEGETA: Yes, I'm very, very, very sorry…
[Door slams]
VEGETA: ...That you’re all still alive! SUCKERS!! AAHAHA! HA! OH! AH! Ow it hurts to laugh!
♪♪ NARRATOR: And so our heroes looked towards the sky, their battle finally over and victory on their side. Many lives were lost, many lessons were learned, and I made out with a cool one-hundred thou!
KING KAI: You cheating son of a--!
NARRATOR: Can’t hear you, don’t care! Now, where was I… How will our heroes bring back their fallen compatriots? What new dangers will present themselves? Has anyone REALLY not seen this show already? Find out in the next season of Dragonball Z Abridged!
♪♪
{TCHING}
[Pod whooshes]
VEGETA (Mentally): 'They’ve broken my body. I failed in my mission to find the Dragonballs. I even lost my tail. But at least... it can’t get any worse... from here...'
???: Vegeta…. Vegeeeeeeeetaaa….
VEGETA: Wh-- what?
{DING}
GHOST NAPPA: I’m haunting you!
VEGETA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[ ♪♪ Ghostbusters theme ♪♪ ]
GHOST NAPPA: ♪♪ Vegegeta-geta.....gegegegegeta ♪♪ Vegegeta.... ♪♪
Chorus: GHOST NAPPA! Yeeeah! ♪♪
GHOST NAPPA: ♪♪ If there’s something strange / in your neighborhood. ♪♪ Guess who it is? ♪♪
Chorus: GHOST NAPPA! ♪♪
GHOST NAPPA: ♪♪ Is it something weird? / And it don’t look good. ♪♪ Guess who it is? ♪♪
Chorus: GHOST NAPPA! ♪♪ Yo, Vegeta-geta-geta-geta-getageta ♪♪ Geta-geta-geta-you know you love me as a ghost- getageta ♪♪ Geta-geta-geta-geta-getageta ♪♪ Geta-geta-geta-geta-WHOOOOO! ♪♪
These initial transcriptions were produced by Splendaaa/1plainicecreamcone by taking the original English Captions by (ANONYMOUS) and editing them slightly to have more clarity when read without video accompaniment. (If you edit this transcription, please leave this original credits segment <and add your own name, if you wish> so that my hours of effort aren't all for nothing! - thank you, Splendaaa)
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