The Return of Raditz! ... Wait... is the first episode of Team Four Star's DragonBall Z Abridged. It was originally uploaded onto YouTube on June 6, 2008, but was eventually taken down due to a copyright infringement claim by Toei Animation. However, 5 years later, the episode got unbanned from YouTube on May 7, 2013.
Summary[]
"Holy s**t, it's an alien!"
On a peaceful farm area, a space pod crashes down onto Earth, and into a farmer's marijuana patch. Shocked and curious about it, the farmer drives over to the crash site and, like any America, pulls out his gun. A humanoid alien emerges from the pod, and is disappointed that âKakarotâ screwed up his mission, complaining that they should have had Turles do the job instead. The terrified farmer tries to threaten the alien with his gun, but the latter isnât scared as the former poses no threat to him. The farmer fires at him, only for his bullet to be caught and flicked back at him, killing him. At first, the alien doesnât realize that the farmer is dead and commands him to get up and apologize only. However, once the alien realizes heâs dead, heâs disappointed at how easily he killed him and realizes thatâs why his father would not allow him to keep Appule.
"No new comments... No Friend Requests... dammit."
In the wastelands, a lonely Piccolo checking his MySpace, only to find he has no new comments or friend requests, but is happy that Tom is still around. Piccolo is interrupted by the alien, who confused him for someone named "Kakarot" which leads to Piccolo pointing out his green skin, pointy ears, and turban, and sarcastically stating he looks like so many other people. The alien, who doesn't appreciate Piccolo's sarcasm, decides to use his special attack known as Keep Your Eye on the Birdy (this move was originally called Double Sunday until Vegeta3986 interrupted Lanipator and fought with him over the mic). Before he can perform his attack, his scouter alerts him of a higher power level, and he leaves.
At Kame House, Master Roshi and Krillin, along with Turtle and Oolong, wait for their friends, whom they haven't seen in years. Bulma arrives first and explains that Yamcha will not be coming because she caught him cheating with Puar. Goku arrives shortly after, and they all confuse Goku's son, Gohan, to be some kid he randomly kidnapped, thinking Goku based his own idea of parenthood off of his own sudden adoption in the woods, until Goku explains that Gohan is his actual son. A shocked Bulma and Roshi asked if that means he had sex with Chi-Chi (using euphemistic slang), but when Goku reveals he has no idea what theyâre talking about, the two are in disbelief that heâs a father. Krillin asks when Gohan will start training, but Goku tells him that Chi-Chi wants Gohan to be a "responsible and productive member of society", or "lame" as Goku puts it.
Krillin Owned Count: 1
Noticing a Dragon Ball on Gohanâs hat, Bulma questions whether it would make him a target for potential villains. Just as Goku states that he can fight off anyone, he senses a power level "bigger than Krillin's losing streak". This huge power level is revealed to be the alien, who arrives and refers to Goku as Kararot. However, Goku has no idea what the alien is talking about, causing the latter to realize that the former hit his head as a child and lost all his memories. The alien explains to Goku that he is part of an alien race called the Saiyans and that they are brothers, to the shock of everyone there and a crab. Krillin presumes that, as he is Goku's brother, the alien will be involved in a lot of future events but is bitch-slapped through a wall for his troubles.
"We're totally going to Earth to get our wish!"
Discovering that his brother's name is Raditz, Goku asks him if he is after the Dragon Balls. When Radtiz express confusion by the name, thinking itâs a set of balls from a dragon, Goku explains that there are seven Dragon Balls, and they can grant any wish, such as immortality, or Bulma's panties as Oolong overheard the argument. Unknown to them, Nappa and Vegeta heard this through their Scouters, and decide to head to Earth in order to get their wish. While Goku asks if they were going to do brother related events together, Raditz offers Goku the chance to join him and destroy everyone on the planet, while selling it to an alien overlord who may or may not have destroyed their home planet. Goku declines the offer since he likes the inhabitants of Earth, causing Raditz to knee Goku in the stomach, takes Gohan when the latter runs towards his father, and flies away. Although Goku begs somebody to stop Raditz, nobody does so, leading him to blame Krillin even though the latter was still recovering from his bitch slap.
Afterwards, Piccolo appears in front of them, adding more to Gokuâs misery. Goku tells Piccolo that it was not the day to die as he found out his true origins and had Gohan stolen, though the latter reveals he watched all that and laughs at his rivalâs misery. Then, Goku asks Piccolo for his help to rescue Gohan, offering to friend him on MySpace in exchange. Piccolo takes the deal, now planning to replace Tom with Goku as his number one friend on MySpace, and the two fly off to get Gohan back.
In the stinger, Master Roshi holds up more items that change, from a Nestlé Crunch Bar, to a gummy bear, finishing with Nappa's head, provoking the latter to shout in shock, "Wait, what the hell?!"
Cast[]
- Hbi2k â Farmer With Shotgun
- KaiserNeko â Space Pod
- Lanipator â Raditz (before the fight), Piccolo, Krillin, Vegeta
- Vegeta3986 â Raditz (after the fight), Yamcha, Oolong, Gohan
- Megami33 â Bulma, Puar
- MasakoX â Master Roshi, Goku,
- Takahata101 â Nappa
Music[]
- Morgenstemning by Edvard Hagerup Grieg
- Cha-La-Head-Cha-La by Kageyama Hiranobu
Running Gags[]
- Krillin Owned Count 1: Raditz bitch-slaps Krillin into Kame House with his tail.
Cultural References[]
- The title of this episode is a play on "The Arrival of Raditz", the title of the first episode of the 1996-1998 "Ocean dub" of Dragon Ball Z.
- The farmer mistakes Raditz for Sonic The Hedgehog when he first emerges from his pod.
- The song "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper is heard playing on Bulma's radio as her ship lands.
- Master Roshi's beer starting off as orange juice (O.J.), then apple juice, then beer (then to a Nestle Crunch bar, a gummi bear, and finally Nappa's head, but the stinger jokes aren't relevant to this point), acts as a reference to the censorship many anime series (specifically those with children as the target demographic) often faced when coming to the West, which includes altering alcoholic drinks to be more age-appropriate substitutes. Dragon Ball Z (being one of the most famous anime with incredibly notable edits during its initial broadcasts) is a commonly cited source for such censorship.
- When Goku says he has a son, M. Night Shyamalan appears and says, "What a Twist!". M. Night Shyamalan is a director (in)famous for his heavy usage of twist endings in his films, most notably in his claim to fame The Sixth Sense. In addition, the way he is animated is a reference to South Park, specifically the flappy-head animation that series uses for Canadians and Saddam Hussein when they speak.
- Oolong says "Bulma's panties", a reference to episode 12 of Dragon Ball, in which Oolong wishes for panties (In which some versions have them to be Bulma's)
Trivia[]
- This is the most viewed episode of the entire series and the second most viewed video on the entire channel, with over 29,000,000 views as of 2023. It is surpassed only by Dragon Ball Z Abridged Movie: Broly the Legendary Super Saiyan (with over 33,000,000 views).
- In the anime, the Dragon Balls are revealed to Raditz when he dies. Here, Goku himself reveals it to Raditz.
- This is the only episode where Vegeta3986 voices Gohan. The rest of the series has MasakoX voice Gohan.
- This episode was used as the "Dishonorable Mention" for the 2016 Tenkaichi Ironman Budokai Abridgithon, where it was ruthlessly berated by Team Four Star for its poor quality in comparison to their current standards. This was most likely done both due to the group's general disdain for their earlier works and to dismiss accusations of hypocrisy from critics of the judging process.
- The outro for this episode uses a clip from the original Japanese end credits, featuring Gohan bouncing, with the only audio being a stock bounce effect. This is the only time this outro is used.
- In an interview with Totally Not Mark, Lanipator and Kaiserneko recalled the writing process of the first episode to be a fun experience, although complicated as they tried out some things that could or could not work.
- Yamcha asks Bulma if she finished cleaning Puar's litterbox yet, despite that Toriyama answering that Puar only LOOKS like a cat https://www.kanzenshuu.com/manga/tankobon/vol-06/
Episode Transcription (English)[]
[Goat screaming in pleasure]
[Eagle screech]
[More sounds of nature]
[Sounds of fowl]
FARMER: Oh God no, my marijuana patch! Ah-ah-I mean, er... my carrot patch! Yeah...
FARMER (Mentally): 'I better do what any sensible middle American would do in this situation... GET MAH GUN!'
SPACE POD: Hello, and welcome to Earth! With open bar.
FARMER: Holy crap, it's Sonic the Hedgeh--! Er-- no! I-it's an alien! HOLY S***, IT'S AN ALIEN!
RADITZ: Finally, on this DEAD PLAN-- w-wait, what the crap? Did Kakarot screw this up?! Oh goddammit, I knew we should have sent Turles.
FARMER (Mentally): 'Better think of something cool to say to make him stop.'
FARMER: HEY, YOU!
FARMER (Mentally): 'Heh. Genius, farmer. *Genius*!'
RADITZ: Aw, look at him! He thinks he's people! What's your power level, little human? Five, huh?
FARMER: PROTECT ME, GUN!
RADITZ: Hey! No! Bad human!
FARMER: GAH! But I voted for Bush!
RADITZ: Bad! Now get back up and tell me you're sorry. Human? Huuuuman? (Sigh)... so this is why Dad said I couldn't keep Appule.
PICCOLO: Good old wasteland! Yup. Sure is some kickass training! Damn it, I'm lonely... might as well check MySpace... no new comments... no friend requests... damn it. Well, at least I have you, Tom. You're always there for me.
RADITZ: HEY! YOU!
PICCOLO: What the hell?
RADITZ: ARE YOU KAKAROT? SERIOUSLY, IF YOU ARE, STAY STILL! I NEED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT KILLING AND SELLING THIS PLANET! IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT! Oh, wait a second. You're not Kakarot. My bad!
PICCOLO: I've got green skin, pointy ears, and a turban. Oh yeah, I must look like *so* many other people.
RADITZ: Oh, a smartass huh? I don't appreciate smartasses. Prepare yourself for my signature attack! DOUBLE SUN--!
???: No.
RADITZ: Eh, huh?
VEGETA3986: Gimme the mic!
LANIPATOR: What? N-no! Come on, man!
VEGETA3986: Gimme--! Gimme me the mic!
LANIPATOR: But that's the real attack na--!
VEGETA3986: No, it isn't!
LANIPATOR: Fine. Here. Take it. I'll just go practice my Vegeta. *Ass*.
RADITZ: Then prepare yourself for my signature attack. Keep your eye ON THE BIR--!
[Scouter beeps]
RADITZ: Ooh! A higher power level.
PICCOLO: Hey! What the hell? Weren't you going to kill me?
RADITZ: Ah. There we go. Considering the average set by this one green guy and that farmer, the chances of this being Kakarot are-- ...d'ah, screw it I'll just go and check.
PICCOLO: Fine! Go ahead! I didn't want your company anyway. Right, Tom?
[Bulma's ship radio is playing "Girls Just Want to Have Fun"]
BULMA: Hey, I'm here!
KRILLIN: BOOBS! I mean, Bulma! Hi.
BULMA: Oooookaayyyy... how's it going?
ROSHI: I'm drinking OJ!
{DING}
ROSHI: Now it's apple juice!
{DING}
ROSHI: Now it's beer! Yay, beer!
{GULP GULP GULP GULP GULP}
KRILLIN: So, where's Yamcha?
BULMA: I think the bastard's cheating on me!
KRILLIN: Why do you say that?
[Flashback]
YAMCHA: BULMA! IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOK LI--! Oh OK, it's totally what it looks like. Can I still live here? Please? Before this, I was living in the desert. Oh, and have you changed Puar's litter box yet?
PUAR: I make boom-boom!
[Flashback ends]
KRILLIN: Oh, are you serious? Yamcha? Oh, that is so out of char-- So, you're single then?
GOKU: Hey, guys!
BULMA: Goku!
KRILLIN: TAIL-- uh, wait, what?
GOKU: Ha ha ha ha!
BULMA: Uh, Goku? I can't help but notice that five-year-old you're carrying.
KRILLIN: Goku, just because we picked you up in the middle of the woods when you were a kid doesn't mean you can go around stealing children.
GOKU: Uh, OK... This is actually my son.
[Dramatic sting]
M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN: What a twist!
BULMA: Oh, wow! I guess this means you finally... you know...
GOKU: Know what?
ROSHI: You know... "bow-chicka-wow-wow"!
GOKU: What're those noises you're makin'?
ROSHI and BULMA [terrified] (Mentally): 'Oh my *God*, he's a parent!'
KRILLIN: So when's the little guy gonna start training?
GOKU: Actually, Chi-Chi is making him study. She wants him to grow up and be... what's it called?
KRILLIN: A productive and responsible member of society?
GOKU: Yeah, lame! That's it! Hey son, come here! Stop playing with the turtle! We don't need people saying things...
BULMA: Hey, is that a Dragon Ball on his head? Doesn't that sort of make him a target for villains who might want them?
GOKU: Aw, come on! I beat Piccolo. I'm strong enough to beat anyone who-- HOLY BLACK ON A POPO, WHAT IS *THAT*!?
ROSHI: What's wrong?
GOKU: I just felt a power level bigger than... than... Krillin's losing streak!
[Dramatic sting]
KRILLIN: You know, you guys are the reason I go to therapy.
GOKU (Mentally): 'He's... getting closer...'
[Dramatic sting]
KRILLIN: Shouldn't we grab Gohan and put him insi--? Oh son of a--
[Goku gasps]
RADITZ: It took me a while to get here but I finally found you... Kakarot.
GOKU: What?
RADITZ: That's right. That's your name.
GOKU: What?
RADITZ: The name you were given before we sent you to this planet.
GOKU: What?
RADITZ: You... hit your head as a child, didn't you?
{THWACK}
GOKU: ...What?
RADITZ: Oh for God's sakes, listen! You were sent here as a child to take over the planet, you're part of a dead race of intergalactic super warriors called the "Saiyans", and to top off this expositional onslaught... I... am your BROTHER!
{DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN}
KRILLIN: So you're his brother, huh? Wow, that must mean you'll be involved in a lot of future events, right? ...Right?
{SMACK}
KRILLIN: WAH-AH-AH-AH-AH! GUH-hah! [K.O.C ding] What did I say...?
GOKU: Hey, stop hitting Krillin!
RADITZ: Why?
GOKU: Because you're breaking Kame House!
KRILLIN: Yeah... stop breaking Kame House...
GOKU: So, what're you here for? The Dragon Balls?
RADITZ: The... the Dragon's *what*?
GOKU: The Dragon Balls, you know? There are seven of them, they grant you any wish you want... like immortality?
OOLONG: Or Bulma's panties.
NAPPA: Vegeta, did you hear that?
VEGETA: Oh yeah, we're totally going to Earth to get our wish!
NAPPA: Yeah, we're gonna get panties! ...I mean immortality. Immortality's what I meant. Right, Vegeta?
VEGETA: Just get in the damn pod.
RADITZ: No. I'm here for *you*, Kakarot.
GOKU: So, what are we going to do? See a ball game? Catch a movie?
RADITZ: We're going to kill everyone on the planet and then sell it for profit to an alien overlord who may or may not have destroyed our own planet.
GOKU: Oh... Well, uh... I sorta like people here. So with all due respect-- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhHHHHHHHHHHH--
GOHAN: Daddy!
RADITZ: I'll be taking *this*. Yoink!
GOKU: Quick! Somebody stop him!
[Crickets chirping]
GOKU: Dammit, Krillin!
KRILLIN: Hey, I was bitch slapped through a house! What's your excuse?!
GOKU: I was kneed in the *stomach*!
[Krillin gasps]
PICCOLO: You guys are pathetic!
[Goku and Bulma gasp] [Dramatic sting]
PICCOLO: What?
GOKU: Aw, geez...! Hey look, I know you totally want to kill me and all, but... today's kind of a bad day. My brother just showed up- Turns out I'm an alien- He stole my kid
PICCOLO: Oh yeah, I was watching that, that was *priceless*! HUHUHAHA, AHAHA, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, AH, AHA, UH-- Sorry for your loss.
GOKU: Yeah, anyway... wanna help me get him back?
PICCOLO: Whyyyyyy...?
GOKU: I'll friend you on MySpace...
PICCOLO (Mentally): 'Tom, you've been replaced!'
[{BOING x3} as Gohan jumps in the end buffer]
{BOIOIOIOIOIOINNG}
ROSHI: Now, it's a Nestlé Crunch bar!
{DING}
ROSHI: Now, it's a gummy bear!
{DING}
ROSHI: Now, it's Nappa!
NAPPA: Wait, what the hell?!
This transcription was produced by Splendaaa/1plainicecreamcone by taking the original English Captions by (Anonymous) and editing them slightly to have more clarity when read without video accompaniment. (If you edit this transcription, please leave this original credits segment <and add your own name, if you wish> so that my hours of effort aren't all for nothing! - thank you, Splendaaa)
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