[DRAGON SHORTZ OPENING SEQUENCE]
[TITLE CARD: "Three's a Crowd"]
(Cut to Kame House at sunrise. Krillin is seen sleeping on a bed. He stretches and turns over to Android 18, who is sleeping next to him.)
KRILLIN: Morning, hun.
ANDROID 18: (yawns) Morning, shortstack.
(They stare at each other lovingly for a second until a naked Master Roshi with censored privates, who has a plate of pancakes in his hand, interrupts them.)
MASTER ROSHI: Speakin' of shortstacks, I'm makin' pancakes! Y'all want any?
KRILLIN: Roshi--! For Dende's sake, put on some clothes! Please? (Roshi points at Krillin, and a whoosh sound plays.)
MASTER ROSHI: Clothes ruin my mornin' flow! You know that! Now, do you want any chocolate chips? (He begins to walk down the stairs as a disappointed Krillin and Android 18 watch.) If you do, prepare to get blazed, 'cause they're hella packed with THC!
ANDROID 18: We need to move.
KRILLIN: Wh-what?
ANDROID 18: Now!
KRILLIN: (confused) I-I-but... L-Laz, w-we've got free room and board, beachfront property and all the... chocolate chips you can eat!
ANDROID 18: Yeah, that's great and all, but do you have any idea of what it's like to be a woman living in this space for three years?!
(Cut to 18 organizing clothes outside on the back of a chair, A clothesline holding up shirts is visible.)
ANDROID 18: Hm? (She notices something on the ground. She bends over and picks up a black shirt reading "NO FAT CHICKS", to which she scoffs.) Are you kidding me? (She turns the shirt around; it reads "ON TOP".) Uhh, that's... better?
(Cut back to the present in the bed.)
ANDROID 18: Then there was my birthday party...
(Cut to an outside view of Kame House where a small gathering of Master Roshi, Android 17, Krillin, Oolong, Yamcha and Turtle are celebrating Androids 17 and 18's birthdays.)
ALL EXCEPT ANDROIDS 17 AND 18: ♪Happy birthday to you~♪
ANDROID 17: Happy birthday, sis.
ANDROID 18: You too, bro.
MASTER ROSHI: I have a present! Here you go, Lazi~
ANDROID 18: (sarcastically) Ah, good, I wonder what this is. (She pulls out a set of lingerie, similar to what Roshi wore one training day in the original Dragon Ball manga) Oh, look, it's lingerie. Who'da guessed?
KRILLIN: Oh, hey! I remember those! Wonder if I still fit in mine?
(The music stops as Androids 17 and 18 stare sternly at Krillin.)
(Cut back to the present.)
ANDROID 18: And that all pales in comparison to the shit he pulled last month.
(Cut to Kame House at night. Android 18, wearing said lingerie, is on top of Krillin, who is laying down. She crawls closer to Krillin, and her breasts move in front of Krillin's face. Krillin chuckles in anticipation. The two lean in to start making out, but 18 stops when she notices a security camera bearing the logo of Capsule Corporation.)
ANDROID 18: Is that a f****** camera?!
MASTER ROSHI: (offscreen) Stop breaking the scene!
(Cut back to the present. Krillin is holding a CD of an adult movie, presumably starring himself and 18, entitled "UNDER 18 AND PERFECTLY LEGAL". Master Roshi's caricature can be seen, implying he taped it.)
KRILLIN: To be fair, the production value on this was... incredible.
(Android 18 grabs the CD from his hand and flicks it, destroying it.)
KRILLIN: Naww! I was really good in that one...
ANDROID 18: Yes, you were; not the point!
KRILLIN: Well, I'm not sure how we're gonna move in the first place. We can't exactly afford a house...
ANDROID 18: Mm, we can always just steal a place for ourselves...
KRILLIN: Lazuli, you said you were done with that! (Android 18 laughs.)
ANDROID 18: I am! I was just joking! (gives an aside glance) ...Mostly.
KRILLIN: What about your brother? Didn't he... "claim" a bunch of land?
ANDROID 18: Suuure, but we're not exactly on the best terms right now...
(Cut to Android 17 on his island on the phone with Android 18.)
ANDROID 17: Sis, I told you I need a male tiger!
ANDROID 18 (on the other end) And I delivered.
ANDROID 17: No, you sent me a tiger MAN!
(The camera shifts to reveal an anthropomorphic tiger wearing a blue t-shirt, beige jeans and sneakers. He has a name tag that reads "TONY".)
TONY: Name's Tony.
ANDROID 17: His name's Tony! (He turns to the tiger man.) ...Wait, seriously? (Tony nods.)
ANDROID 18: Tony is a pretty common name...
ANDROID 17: STOP DROPPING FURRIES ON MY ISLAND! (Tony turns to his right and waves.)
(Cut back to Krillin and Android 18 in the present.)
KRILLIN: Hmm... We could always enter a World Tournament! They pay huge! And, we don't have to worry about Goku! (He looks down dishearteningly.) G-aww, I made myself sad...
ANDROID 18: Okay, when's that?
KRILLIN: Lemme check! (He pulls out a phone and hums to himself as he looks up the date of the next tournament. He looks shocked at the results.) Four years...
ANDROID 18: Yeah, tits to that. We need to get you a job.
KRILLIN: Umm, about that... My resume isn't exactly... robust? (Cut to an old photo of Krillin and Goku as kids from their training days with Master Roshi.) I was a monk until I was a teenager, and then, the only teenager I had was, well... (shrugs) Roshi.
ANDROID 18: Yeah... I don't exactly have a formal education, either... I was orphaned at 13, and the only thing Gero programmed into my head was ways to kill people and make sweet potato pie.
(Master Roshi appears from behind the stairs, still naked.)
MASTER ROSHI: I like your pie! Heh-heh-heh!
ANDROID 18: Eat SHIT, old man! (She throws a lapis blue heel at the vulgar old master.)
MASTER ROSHI: (offscreen) Oh, you know I was talkin' 'bout vagina.
ANDROID 18: Get me the hell out of here...!
KRILLIN: Okay, um... uh, w-what about manual labor? I-I mean, I have a background in agriculture, and with our strength, (he flexes his bicep) we could probably build a skyscraper in like, a day!
ANDROID 18: I-- I'm not sure physical activity is a great idea...?
KRILLIN: Why not? You get physical with me all the time~ (Growls sexily)
ANDROID 18: Not what I meant...
KRILLIN: I know, but I mean... I think you'd be great at it! You're smart, you're driven, you're waaay stronger than I am, and you're--
ANDROID 18: Pregnant!!
(beat)
KRILLIN: ...Wha?
ANDROID 18: And yeah, I know I could still totally work while pregnant; (the realization hits Krillin, who is dumbfounded that he will soon become a father.) women do it all the time, and I'll still try and apply, but imagine telling your prospective employer, "Oh yeah, you've got me for approximately six months," and then, "Later! Thanks for the maternity leave!" It just seems like a total clusterfu-- (Krillin forcefully places his hands on Android 18's arms. She gasps.)
KRILLIN: You're pregnant?!
ANDROID 18: Yeah... (shyly) it's why I didn't ask for the chocolate chip pancakes...
KRILLIN: How-- how long?
ANDROID 18: ...Have I been pregnant? Apparently a month, but I've only known for about a week. I didn't know how to tell you. We... have a good thing going, and this just all happened so suddenly, and I have no I idea how this will change things, or if you'd even want to--!
KRILLIN: (emotionally) Lazuli... (He takes her hands in his.) You have made me happier than anyone or anything in my life! (Android 18's mechanical eyes start to twitch and shine.) And somehow, you just found a way to make me even happier! I... I love you... and I love our baby!
ANDROID 18: I love you, too! (They embrace.)
MASTER ROSHI: So how much longer 'til your boobs start getting bigger?
ANDROID 18: But if this baby's a girl, and we're not moved out by the time she hits puberty, I'm going to kill him.
MASTER ROSHI: Eh. I've had a good run... (A risqué poster of a model can be seen in his room. He munches down on a pancake.)
[CREDITS]
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