The following is the transcript for the first episode of Team Four Star's Dragon ShortZ, Two and a Half Saiyans, which act as an interlude between the time skip of the Cell and Buu Saga of DragonBall Z Abridged.
(cut to an outside shot of Capsule Corp)
VEGETA: Listen, it was your idea to leave me in charge while you're off on your little "business trip", so just let me handle it.
(cut to inside, Vegeta is shown holding Baby Trunks while on the phone with Bulma)
VEGETA: (Bulma says something on the phone) Woman, I have been conquering literal worlds since I was ten. How hard is it to look after a single infant?!
(Baby Trunks looks at the camera, smirking, as if knowing what's to come)
VEGETA: (Bulma says something on the phone) Yes, I know all the emergency numbers, but I'm pretty sure I can get him to a hospital faster than an ambulance. (Bulma says something else) What do you mean you called his uncle? You don't have a broth-
(Nappa kicks open the door)
[DRAGON SHORTZ OPENING SEQUENCE]
NAPPA: (holding Baby Trunks) Oh my god, he's so tiny! I remember when you were this tiny. God, I could punt you so far!
VEGETA: You mean "could've".
NAPPA: (stammers) I-I-Uh... (changes the subject) Where's his tail?
VEGETA: The woman apparently had it removed at birth.
NAPPA: And you DIDN'T STOP HER?!
VEGETA: I WASN'T THERE!
NAPPA: You are a bad dad and a terrible partner.
VEGETA: I will kill you again.
NAPPA: But don't worry! Uncle Nappa's here to help! Tip hashtag one: Whatever you do, (Spoken with Live-Action Lips) DON'T. SHAKE. THE BABY.
VEGETA: (with a weirded-out expression) ...What?
NAPPA: Don't grab him under the arms, and (shaking his hands rapidly) shake the shit out of him, while screaming, "You're weak! And worthless! And you'll never be King!" (grabs Vegeta's shirt, chuckling evilly)
VEGETA: Why... why would I--?
NAPPA: Trust me, it'll give him a complex. Tip hashtag two: Don't force-feed him coffee. It'll stunt his growth.
VEGETA: These tips are oddly specific. Did you--
NAPPA: Kid's flying out the window.
VEGETA: SHIT! (chases after Baby Trunks)
NAPPA: He yeeted himself...
(Vegeta runs back, panting heavily, holding Baby Trunks)
NAPPA: ...Maybe shake him a little?
(Baby Trunks' face suddenly scrunches up)
VEGETA: What? What's he--
(Baby Trunks starts crying)
VEGETA: Stop. Stop! Stop this right now!
NAPPA: You should yell louder.
VEGETA: STOP! STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--
(Cut to Vegeta lying on the floor, besides the still-crying Trunks)
VEGETA: He... He outscreamed me! NOBODY OUTSCREAMS VEGETA!
NAPPA: (mutters) Silver medal once again...
VEGETA: Oh god, and to make matters worse, he just smells awful.
NAPPA: Vegeta. You gotta change him.
VEGETA: Into what? We've already established that he has no tail.
NAPPA: What do you think that diaper is for?
VEGETA: Oh. ...Shit.
NAPPA: That's the idea!
(Vegeta lays Baby Trunks on a table and starts changing his diaper.)
NAPPA: Okay, now be careful. Babies are known to pee during changing.
VEGETA: I thought he already went! That's why we-- Whatever. Let's just get this over--
(Vegeta is suddenly blasted away and through the roof by a powerful stream of urine.)
NAPPA: Hey, look Vegeta! He's got your stream! ...What are they feeding you?
(Baby Trunks belches. Cut to later that night, with Trunks in a crib and Nappa reading him a story.)
NAPPA: "...And that's how Christmas was known throughout the galaxy as 'Freeza Day'. The End."
(Baby Trunks is sound asleep in the crib.)
VEGETA: (collapses on the crib) Oh my god, it's finally over.
NAPPA: It's only scary the first time because you don't know what you're doing, right? Just go easy on yourself.
VEGETA: Huh. You know, when he's, uh, sleeping, for some reason, all I wanna do is kill anything that might touch him.
NAPPA: Aww. Guess who's a big old softie after all, huh?
VEGETA: F*** you say?
NAPPA: Just saying, Mister "Destroyer of worlds" got a baby boy, a nice big house, and a sugar mama that gave you both.
VEGETA: I am going to break off both of your legs and literally kick what's left of your ass with them!
NAPPA: Alright, alright. I'll get outta your hair. Good night, Trunks.
VEGETA: (looks down at Trunks, then gently strokes his head) Good night, my son.
(There's suddenly a camera flash. Vegeta reacts. The camera shifts to reveal Nappa had taken a picture of this.)
NAPPA: 'Dig going on my Spacetagram.
VEGETA: GODDAMMIT, NAPPA!!!
(Cut to an outside view of Capsule Corp. Crashing noises are heard and flashes are seen.)
VEGETA: GET BACK HERE!
NAPPA: Hashtag Daddy's Little Boy!
VEGETA: DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW!
NAPPA: Hashtag Papa Veggie!
VEGETA: HASHTAG GALICK GUN...
(A bright glow is visible)
NAPPA: Whoa boy! ...And post!
(Vegeta's Galick Gun blasts through the front door of Capsule Corp, setting off a car alarm. Baby Trunks is heard crying again.)
VEGETA: Oh, goddammit.
NAPPA: Hashtag... you missed.
(The ending sequence shows Bulma, Baby Trunks, Nappa, and Vegeta in a photo together. Everyone is smiling except Vegeta, who looks annoyed.)