Team Four Star Wiki
Advertisement

(DragonShortZ Intro)

(Cuts to a baseball field, where Yamcha starts to hit his 500th consecutive home run. The pitcher throws the ball, and Yamcha sends it flying through a window at Capsule Corporation)

BABY TRUNKS: (starts crying)

VEGETA: MOTHERFU--!

ANNOUNCER: And there you have it, folks! Another home run from the Baseball Bandit Yamcha, marking his 500th consecutive home run! Aaannnnnnnd the crowd goes---

KRILLIN: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

(The announcer groans)

ANNOUNCER: --...out of the stadium...

(cut to the locker room with Gonzales and Dave)

YAMCHA: Whew! Hell yeah, guys! Another trophy for the case! Gonzales, you see me out there?

(Gonzales sighs)

GONZALES: ...Yeah. Yeah, I did.

YAMCHA: Bet those legs are tired from running home so much, huh Dave?

DAVE: I'm tired all right...

YAMCHA: Didn't even break a sweat out there. Might just skip the showers and go straight to the bar!

TEAMMATE: Yo, Yamcha, coach wants to talk with you on the way out. Owner's with him.

YAMCHA: The owner? Oh man, maybe they want to renegotiate my contract! Or maybe I'm being inducted into the baseball Hall of Fame! Or maybe I'm--

(cut to the owner's office)

COACH: --fired.

YAMCHA: ...Do you mean... I'm ON fire?

OWNER: No. He means, for the first time in your career, you're *out*, Bandit.

YAMCHA: Wha-- No!!! You can't be serious! Coach, we haven't lost a game since I joined!

COACH: And that's the problem, kid. You've ruined the game. You've taken the sport outta the sport. Nobody wants to watch Mr. Satan enter a kid's karate championship!

OWNER: I'd watch that.

COACH: Yeah, but only a psychopath would watch that more than once.

YAMCHA: Um...

COACH: Right?

OWNER: Point is, nobody's buying tickets. Those bleachers would be emptier than Nicky Town if it weren't for those mooks you gave season passes to.

(cut to the bleachers with Master Roshi sleeping on them)

ROSHI: ...Where's my beer?

YAMCHA: You can't do this! This game, baseball...it's all I've got left. My ex-girlfriend shacked up with an alien prince, most of my friends are married or busy or have three eyes and are total assholes--...without baseball...I'll have nothing

COACH: Yeah, nothin'...and 20 billion zeni.

YAMCHA: What will I--...huh?

OWNER: 20. Billion. Zeni. League rules says I can't leave you high and dry, and I also can't bar you from accepting sponsorship deals or promotional tie-ins...So...you sign this non-compete, and you'll be set for the rest of your life.

(music starts playing in the background with Yamcha singing)

(Owner turns off the radio)

OWNER: Sorry.

YAMCHA: So--...so this is a win?

COACH: Kid... you do nothin' *but* win.

NARRATOR: And so, Yamcha gave his signature and retired from his ambitious (and boring) sports career. He then invested in, and subsequently purchased, the HETAP beverage corporation, doubling his net worth. He now owns several sports bars under the franchise Wolf Fang Grill, where he lets all his friends eat for free.

VEGETA: I'm back bitches!

NARRATOR: Also Vegeta. Coming up next, an hour retrospective on martial arts champion, Jackie Chun. Where did he come from? And after all these years...where has this mysterious and illustrious fighter gone?

ROSHI: ...I think my ride left.

(Roshi sniffs)

ROSHI: BABY GAMERA!!!

(Baby Gamera shows up before Roshi hops on)

ROSHI: Titty bar!

(Baby Gamera takes off)

(The ending shows Yamcha, Krillin, Chaoutzu, Tien, Vegeta, Nappa, and Bulma having a barbecue as Gohan and Piccolo watch from behind a bush.)

Advertisement